Strange Dreams

A few weeks ago friends in my July Dragonflies group began having strange dreams. One dreamed that she went to get her baby and they gave her an 8 yr. old Vietnamese boy. The only English words he knew were cuss words and he kept shouting the really bad one over and over. Another dreamed that she was given caucasian triplets from South Africa. She tried to tell the CCAA that she really wanted a Chinese baby but they said, "We've run out of Chinese babies, but these are really cute!" Another dreamed that she was given a 15 year old girl whose mother was Chinese but whose father was from Indiana. She was talking in teen-speak and kept saying "like". They found out that 14 other families had rejected her referral and that's why she was now 15.

I had been thinking this was all so funny until I had my first adoption dream last night. They were trying to give me a teenage boy with reddish blonde hair and freckles. Along with him was a little tiny girl I will try to describe for you. She looked exactly like Macy of Macy Day but she had been shrunk down to the size of a little baby. So she wasn't babyish at all, more like a little pixie with pigtails, and she was running around everywhere. They told me that I could only have her if I took the boy too. I said that the CCAA must not understand that I am a single woman and I would have no clue what to do with a teenage boy and they got very firm and stern with me and restated that it was all or nothing. I think this dream was influenced by the fact that right before I went to bed last night I checked out my nephew's new blog, DrummerBoy777. While looking at it I was thinking about how little I understand about where teenagers are at today.
Yesterday someone in my group dreamed that their baby had the face of an ancient Tibetan woman.
Oh my, enough of the dreams!

The Orphan's Prayer

I am waiting... somewhere far.... far... away on the other side of the world.
I may not know who you are or what you look like,
But somehow deep in my heart I know you are there.
That one day you will come and find me.
It's a long journey, and it takes a lot of time...
I wish it could be easier.
But I know that the ones who come for me will not count the cost.
They will only see the joy of finding me.
For now I abide in the fields of the fatherless.
Day by day wondering why I was born here and not somewhere else?
Asking... why my life couldn't have been different?
It's so lonely...
Even though I am surrounded by hundreds of other children,
I know that something is missing...
I know in my heart I need a place to call home.
My arms long to be wrapped in a father's embrace...
I long to be saved by a mother's love...
Even as I lie alone in the darkness each night somehow I feel assured,
That no matter how lost I appear I am not alone.
Holy hands guard my steps; sacred fingers wipe my tears, touching my lonely heart.
The one who made me,
The God that knew me before I was born,
Hears me every time I call.
He whispers His promises in my ear.
I listen with hope to His voice.
But what I worry about most is that no one wants to look for me.
The fields are vast and there are so many scattered all over the earth.
I wonder how one little child, so lost, can be found?
Yet He calms my heart and assures me that He will find you.
That He will make sure that you hear His voice clearly.
He has promised me that He will may a way through the fields,
That He will personally cut a path and lead you right to my orphange door.
My prayer is...
When He speaks...
Please don't forget to listen...
When He calls don't be too afraid to go
For I am waiting...somewhere, far... far... away
On the other side of the world
To come home.

Under the Wire

It looks like I may make it just under the wire with my paperwork!
I got an email from my agency that said my I-171 needs to be valid until November 30 and mine is good until December 9. Yippeee! It feels like I am really cutting it close but CCAA can't decide to move again, right? So barring anymore big catastrophes, I am good to go.

Referral Update

I have been at a Math Their Way workshop this week and it's been excellent. It served as a good distraction from Referral Watch during the day, but I was definitely up at night while the CCAA was open for business monitoring the referral situation. I am able to sleep now because my agency let us know early yesterday morning that the cut off date for the referrals going out this month was July 13, 2005. Since my log in date was July 20, 2005 I did not get included in this group. The good news is that I will be in the next group at the end of August and I am still hoping to be able to travel before my paperwork expires. I would appreciate your prayers about that! Normally a referral group from the end of August would travel in October, but because of the Trade Fairs in Guangzhou my agency does not send people there at that time. So, I am looking at the end of October/beginning of November for travel. Waiting for the news this week was very intense, but now that I know that I am next month I am ready to focus on what I have left to do before school starts again and my whole life changes. Slowly, but surely, I am getting things ready for Abbey and for the trip. I do feel really at peace, which is good since the situation is out of my hands.

More to Read

My FCC sent this out to all our members today (600 families).
I will be adding it to my reading cue, it looks great! It talks about how adoption is transforming our nation. It was originally written in 2000, but this is a special updated version for FCC and coincides with the 50,000th child adopted from China into an
Amercian family. Learn more here.

LID Anniversary Gift

My dear friend Rebecca brought this to church Sunday for Abbey. It's the cutest little ladybug swimsuit! Thank you Rebecca, you've been such a source of encouragement.

FCC Waiting Families

On Saturday I attended a get together for waiting families from my FCC (Families with Children from China) group. I got to reconnect with my friend Molly who shares the same log-in date (7-20-05) and the same agency (GreatWall China Adoptions) with me. So, we are hoping that we will be traveling together. Her brother will also be traveling with her, just as mine will. We got to catch up on everything and talk through all the latest "information". Best of all we met lots of beautiful families who have already returned. We had a Panda Ceremony for the new arrivals, which included some adorable twins. I got to look at a beautiful Lifebook that a mom had made for her daughter and it was very inspirational. We also watched the China video from our host's trip and got to see them receive their daughter. It was a great afternoon.

LID

July 20, 2005 my dossier was logged in at the CCAA in China. I am so happy to feel that a year of the wait is behind me and there can't be that much more left in front of me. What an amazing journey it has been, and the most exciting parts lie ahead.
It's time to start putting '05 when I write my log in date. Last night I came across two new blogs and I was all excited to see that they were July people that I hadn't met, then I realized they were July '06 and were already collecting quilt squares. I've got to be getting close to the finish line that continually moves further ahead of me.

If you see any marbles rolling around

they belong to the July Dragonflies...we've officially lost ours!
This wait has really gotten to us.
First of all, last week someone in our group shared a "sign" they had that they were being matched. They've collected turtles for 20 years because it was their sorority mascot. They've had turtle sightings on very significant days in their life (i.e. weddings, etc.) and recently a turtle appeared on their back porch, so the consensus was that they were being matched with their baby. They also noted that the turtle said "xie, xie" after they gave it some lettuce. Following that another group member was shopping for baby sleepers and came across one that had a turtle with a ladybug riding on it's back. Then it all made sense why it was taking the CCAA so long.
The Rumor Queen did a post today about the cut off for this month being July 13 and got 91 comments. Things started out as normal but then someone told the RQ to check her email because she sent a message that "the CCAA said they.... " and left people hanging. That's how it started.

-are making us all dinner
-are moving again
-lost a bunch of dossiers
-sent out referrals without telling anyone
-have decided to send out a batch of 6 months worth of babies
-found lots of paper-ready babies under a cabbage leaf
-got a delivery of paper-ready babies from the stork
-have decided to convert their offices into an ice cream parlor
-are turning away people who have had a cold in the past year
-have decided to implement a lottery system in issuing referrals
-will begin assigning referrals in whatever random order they feel like
-will begin posting every move they make on their website
-will install "CCAA cams" in the new offices so we can see what the heck is going on
-are asking for volunteers to come help them with the back-log in the matching room
-have decided to wave the travel requirements and will be flying entire planes of babies to the U.S. to meet their parents.

Yep, we've lost it!

Snowflake Adoptions

You may have seen President Bush's speech today as he vetoed only embryonic stem cell research which involves the destruction of human embryos (he has made great efforts to further research which use embryos that have already been destroyed, as well as those taken from donors of all ages). As he spoke he was surrounded by children who were adopted as frozen embryos. As you know, when couples use IVF there are usually a surplus of embryos created. Parents have the responsibility to decide what will be done with the unused embryos. Only 2.8 percent of the approximately 400,000 embryos currently frozen have been assigned to scientific research. The rest are simply being stored and if their biological parents so choose, can be placed for adoption. If you are interested in a Snowflake adoption you can contact NightLight. You can also find a lot of information at Embryo Adoption. If you are interested in learning more about the issue you can read parent testimonies on Capitol Hill here.
The name Snowflake was choosen because each one is individually designed, just as is each human life.

Constant Flow

The other thing that struck me about this video was that new babies were already filling the cribs of the little girls that had just been adopted. We each have our little place in the flow, but everyday babies are adopted, and in the days following more are abandoned. It's mind boggling when you step back and think about it.

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Bare Cribs

Some of the orphanages have resorted to cribs with no bedding, just plywood. I do understand that with lice and laundering the bedding would be a challenge. A friend recently shared the video above on her blog. There are 47 children in this room and what really struck me was the silence. Although many were awake they were just laying in their cribs without making a peep. I wonder if they've learned that they won't be picked up.




Fortunately I feel assured from the experiences of others that once they realize they have a parent meeting their needs they quickly learn to cry.
It just breaks my heart to see them all laying there quietly. We are coming for you babies!

Summer Mode

Peaks:
My friend Marcie getting baptized
Lunch at Marmalade Cafe and Devil Wears Prada with Rebecca
Pirates of the Carribean with Lindi
Cars with my niece
The best pedicure I can remember

Valleys:
CCAA moving, all our dossiers in transit
New rule to stay an additional 5 days if your referral is in Guangdong
October Trade Fair travel issues
The Spanish board predicting a July 13 cut off this month

Care Package

I am working on Abbey's care package. I am trying to keep it small enough for a shoe box. I am not sending clothes because I am hoping to be able to keep her orphanage clothes. Another mom told me that it is very comforting for them to smell and sleep with their clothes from China.

Included are:
Baby blanket
Bunny
Toy cell phone that has my voice recorded
Lotion and chocolates for the nannies
Photo book with family pictures/Chinese labels
Disposable camera with Chinese instructions

I also have a wonderful list of questions for the orphanage workers. I really want these answered for my daughters sake but I am a little concerned that they may feel it is asking too much to have them fill it out. Now I do know that many of these packages are never seen or heard of again. Do you think they will feel like I am asking too much? I guess I can just hope and try.

How to Make a Bad Day Good

As many of you know there were terrible rumors flying today. I won't even go into them, but they were painting a very bleak picture for those of us who are waiting.
To counter-act I had three friends over to help me assemble this toy organizer I got for Abbey's Room (and no, this is not her room, it's the PBK catalogue).
I only have 1/2 the pieces, the rest will come next week, but it is very cute! Now to load the toys in : )

If You Pray...

Would you say a prayer for Abbey and I today? We MAY be being matched this week or next. I won't know for sure until between the 20-25 of this month. I do know that I am in the matching room at the CCAA (Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs). These pictures are of the Matching Room. All the color coded files are information on babies and families. They put my passport photo and info on 1/2 the computer screen and babies pictures on the other half and find matches. I would appreciate your prayers that I get matched with the daughter that God has for me.

Lord, please guide the workers who are doing the matching and have them place the right baby for me!

Brown Paper Packages

....tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things.
How fun is it to come home to a surprise package on your doorstep? It's even better when there are ladybugs on on it and it's addressed to Miss Abbey. In between repairmen (that's my life this summer - handymen, plumbers, appliance repairmen, etc.) this box appeared from my dear friend Selima. It was filled with all manner of cute gifts for a baby girl. This sweet friend was also thoughful enough to send me my first Mother's Day card this year. I am blessed! 

One Year Anniversary

It's July 8, 2006 and one year ago today my dossier flew to China. My heart is filled with so much hope and happiness knowing that I am so close to meeting my daughter! I went to BRU yesterday and got lots of sundries for the trip. It's really beginning to seem real, but haven't I said this many times along the way?

Surprise

I got a surprise phone call from Ruby Cate's mommy today! I had sent her a card to thank her for the darling fabric she sent for Abbey's quilt (along with little Ruby's handprint), and she called just to say thanks for the thank-you card. It's so fun to connect with people in the "real world". Our daughters are bringing so many wonderful people into our lives.
I took the oppourtuntity to ask her an important question. I knew she bought Ruby an extra Bear in case the original ever got lost or was being washed. As it turns out they now have SEVEN bears and the one who went to China is now tucked away in a safe place. Real moms know to buy duplicates of these important items.

Happy Fourth of July!

I am so thankful to live in the USA and I'm grateful for those who have fought for the freedom I live in.

My country tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died,
Land of the pilgrims pride,
From every mountainside,
Let freedom ring!

Would you believe that my class recites the Pledge of Allegiance everyday? Yes, one of the few classes that still does that. In the spring I taught my class America the Beautiful and one little girl asked me if they could sing it every day after the pledge. We did, and they never let me forget. It was so cute too that sometimes they would be working and would just spontaneously start singing it. We had a picture book that goes with the words, and it was their favorite book in the classroom. My very diverse little group was quite patriotic.

Calling all ladybugs!

In the pink is the stunning little Miss Caroline. For the second time this summer she has gone to the beach and ended up with a ladybug...no one else, just her. Her mommy and I are taking this as a very good sign that another little baby is on her way from China.
Ladybugs are a symbol for the Chinese adoption community. They are known to appear in season and out whenever referrals are drawing near.