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Saturday, June 16, 2007

First Father's Day

I learned a lot over the last couple of years on SingleAdoptChina about how other single adoptive mom's were handling Father's Day and questions that arose for their daughters. Abbey is young enought not to be very cognizant of the differences in families, but the other children in her daycare are preschoolers and they do notice. A week or so ago I talked to Abbey's caregiver and told her that Abbey could make a card or craft for her grandfather. I also brought in a great book, Families are Different, by Nina Pellegrini, that explains that although families may be different, they are held together with a special kind of glue called love. I wanted her teacher to be ready in case questions came up about "Where's Abbey's daddy?" We talked about the fact that although she doesn't have a dad, the Bible says that God is a father to the fatherless, Psalms 68:5. I want to take a preemptive approach to situations like this for Abbey, especially after hearing about awkward things others have been through that could have been handled much better. I don't think we always perceive sensitive subjects to depth that we will when we are the minority that it affects. Anyway, when I came to pick up Abbey on Friday she had made two cards and gifts, one for GranGene and one for me. Reading the card brought tears to my eyes,

Dear Mama,
Thank you for being brave enough to be my mom and dad.
I Love You!
Thank you for loving me and choosing to be my mama.
Love,
Abbey


So in honor of all of you who are doing the job of mom and dad...Happy Father's Day to you!

18 Comments:

  • At 6:19 AM, Blogger A said…

    What a wonderful caregiver you have for Abbey. The card she made for Abbey to give you is so sweet. It is great to see how she is sensitive and supportive of you. Happy Dual Parenting Day!

     
  • At 7:18 AM, Blogger C's Mom said…

    Oh wow...that just made me teary. What a perfect card.

     
  • At 9:12 AM, Blogger M3 said…

    Oh my gosh that card would have made me cry too. How beautiful!!!

     
  • At 12:05 PM, Blogger Cherith said…

    Oh that is just so wonderful! Hugs to you and HUGE kuddos to the teacher who helped Abbey with her card.

     
  • At 5:42 PM, Blogger Abby's Mom said…

    You are so lucky to have such a wonderful and very thoughtful care giver! Thanks also for the tips on how to handle today :)

     
  • At 6:05 PM, Blogger kerri said…

    Beautiful beyond words, thanks for sharing something so precious with us.

     
  • At 8:10 PM, Blogger Kimber and Chris said…

    we are so proud of both of you and we send our love...thinking of you today...
    I shared this with some single mom friends from church too.
    Kimberley xx

     
  • At 8:23 PM, Blogger kitchu said…

    Happy Father's Day to you, who enjoys the role of both! I'm glad I found your blog again- I'd lost the piece of paper you'd written it down on at the conference in Dallas. Now I can add you to my bloglines! (And you can thank Amy for helping me get that all set up!)

     
  • At 3:15 PM, Blogger Tamara said…

    When Miya made a foot print card for Father's Day I got a pit in my stomach. It's hard that we can't give our girls everything, but we give them all our love.

     
  • At 10:52 AM, Blogger Amy said…

    Thanks, you just made me cry. =*(
    That was BEAUTIFUL!

    Happy Father's Day to you too my friend!

    Love,

    -Amy & Ruby Cate

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger Global Girl said…

    Oh, how thoughtful! That brought tears to my eyes. You and Abbey make a wonderful family!

     
  • At 4:29 AM, Blogger Donna said…

    I'm always a little apprehensive about Father's Day and how Emma will feel about it. But her teachers are always so sensitive about how there are all different kinds of families. Abbey's card was just wonderful!

     
  • At 6:22 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    One tradition that Anna and I started when she was quite small was to bring a bag of miniature candy bars or Hershey kisses to church on Father's Day. Anna loves handing them out and wishing a "Happy Father's Day" to all the fathers in our congregation.

     
  • At 2:42 PM, Blogger Joannah said…

    I love the way you're handling this sensitive issue already with Abbey by talking to the people in her life about it now. Hopefully, she will grow up with a strong sense of belonging to her Heavenly Father. She's already so blessed to have you as her mother! The sky's the limit for Miss Abbey!!!

     
  • At 6:55 PM, Blogger Julie and Steve said…

    That is SO great. So cool that at least SOME daycare providers are starting to be more sensitive to the different types of families out there...

     
  • At 9:43 AM, Blogger Lucky Mama said…

    Great story and great job being proactive about it.

    Enjoy your summer together!

    /karen

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    Now you made me cry! What a great mommy you are.

     
  • At 8:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What a wonderful caregiver you have that takes the time to listen to what you are concerned about & then does something to allay the concern. What did your Dad think of his card--I bet he melted! As the Lord says in the Bible the most important of these is: LOVE. Unconditional Love will make the biggest difference in the life of any person--large or small. Hard to learn how to do but powerful for a lifetime. You are a great Mommy! Do not forget it!

     

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