Paradigm Shift
When I first began thinking about adoption 3 1/2 years ago I went through many changes in my thinking. I never realized I had a lot of preconceived notions, but I did. In my mind every family needed a stay at home mom, and a dad, and a white picket fence. I really wrestled with the idea of being a single working mom. One day I my thinking was transformed. I had always clung to a verse in Psalms 68:6 that says, "God sets the solitary in families." Feeling very solitary, I kept waiting and hoping that God was going to set me in a family with a husband and children. As I was praying about adoption I felt like God spoke to me one day and said, "You are the family, and I will set the solitary in you." It really turned my perspective around and I realized I could be the family someone needs. Why the diamond? The word solitary always reminded me of a loose diamond, and the part about God setting the solitary in families reminded me of a diamond being set. Now Abbey is the jewel that is being set into my life.
posted by Christi and Abbey @ 11:28 AM
33 Comments:
At 12:32 PM,
Donna said…
You are absolutely right...you are the family and Abbey will be your solitare...your little jewel.
Even though we all have the image of the stay-at-home mom, the working dad, and the white picket fence when we are young, we quickly find out that there are all types of families out there.
I think your type of family (single momdom) takes the most bravery and I so admire you for it. You will be Abbey's family and she will be yours.
At 12:52 PM,
Eliza2006 said…
I can completely relate to the feelings you expressed in this post! Thanks for sharing.
At 1:08 PM,
Monica said…
Beautifully said!
At 1:19 PM,
Anonymous said…
You are the absolute sweetest! I wish you and Abbey the happiest ever-after! Hope to see/meet you in China!
Carol
Emily Day 11/06/06
At 1:27 PM,
Diana said…
You are a amazing person!
At 1:36 PM,
Anonymous said…
There are all types of families, some start out married and stay at home mom, end in divorce, some start out single and end up married. some stay married in great situations,some in not great situations.
ABBEY is in a great situation with the LOVE of a mommy like you! :)
You will have fun growing up and old together and she will be proud of you.
Congrats again mommy.
At 3:20 PM,
3 Countries 1 Love said…
I can tell you after 15.5 years of being a single mom that you most definitely don't have to be married and have that white picket fence to have the best family in the world. I think my girls are better off with me as a single mom than many kids are with their "still married yet unhappy" double parent families.
So hats off to you......very well said. You'll love being a mommy!!
Shannon
At 4:23 PM,
Joannah said…
What a beautiful analogy! You're such a wise woman.
At 5:22 PM,
Elise said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 5:23 PM,
Elise said…
The most precious jewel of all!!!
At 5:40 PM,
dawn said…
That is the most beautiful thing I have ever read. You truly are amazing.
Dawn
At 6:09 PM,
Special K said…
Very very well said... all of us other single-moms & single-mommas-to-be can relate to everything you spoke of.
At 6:42 PM,
Anonymous said…
Amen.
I have been a single mom and I have been a married mom and God is the provider for and protector of my children and I; no matter my marital status!
Beautiful post. True sentiments.
Teri
(from Iowa)
At 7:06 PM,
C's Mom said…
Christi - what a beautiful post! You have lifted my spirit with that one. I can very much relate to your thoughts.
What a mama Abbey is going to have...and what a treasure you are going to have!
At 6:37 AM,
Robin said…
Wow, it's quite eveident that God is speaking through your heart. How awesome that you are listening!! You and Abbey will have such great times together and love will abound that is for sure!
Thanks for the uplifting thoughts.
At 7:14 AM,
RoLo said…
You and Abbey will be a complete family, not matter what some peoples perceptions are. You are going to be an amazing supportive mom.
At 7:55 AM,
Nina said…
That's a beautiful perspective!
At 8:24 AM,
Daniel's Customs said…
Don't forget that family extends beyond the people that live with us...your daughter and you are a family - but your friends and extended family belong to that family as well! I can imagine that Abbey will actually be part of a huge and very loving "family." Take care, your entry was so beautifully written!
At 10:30 AM,
Anonymous said…
Sniff, sniff...what a beautiful analogy.
At 10:50 AM,
Anonymous said…
Great post and absolutely so true. This is Christina from all that blog. I saw your comment and went to check out your blog. I am really enjoying it. I haven't posted as much as I like lately because of my wrist, but on Thursday I get my cast off, Praise God," so I hope to be back in business.
I will keep checking out your blog, do you mind if I put your link on my site?
I will pray for your adoption yo go well and can't wait to see how your life as a new family goes. I don't think there is a perfect family, but I do believe people who want to be mom's can have a family that is loving and blessed no matter what the circumstance. I raised my two older kids (One is now 23 and the other 21), as a single working mom, and now I am raising the other two by staying home, but I don't think one way is any better than the other, just different like you said.
At 12:37 PM,
Calico Sky said…
What a wonderful post. I am just starting the process to be a single mom through adoption, having been a foster parent I was amazed how my idea of family changed.
Thanks for sharing this lovely posting.
Kate
At 12:46 PM,
Donna said…
What a beautiful post...as a single mom, I really appreciate the sentiment!
At 2:37 PM,
t~ said…
What a beautiful analogy. Abbey is coming into a wonderful family.
At 3:15 PM,
Kim said…
What a lovely post.
At 7:08 PM,
Tamara said…
That's beautiful!
At 7:50 PM,
Paulette said…
Forever your little jem Abbey. Thanks for this post I needed it today after working until 6:30. Won't that be the best to run out of school and pick Abbey up everyday. Now that's my kind of family.
At 9:06 PM,
Linda Adams said…
Hi!
I've been out of town and out of touch with your blog for several days - wow! A lot happens when you don't get on the blog for a bit! I love your word picture of Abbey as a precious gem. God will continue faithfully to polish every facet of her life as she grows and matures and comes to know and love Him. And the lapseat - it will work! Anyhow, it's hard to imagine having to let go of her and not have her in your arms during the trip - You'll both do fine! Ah, the anticipation of it all! Your extra-long and dual-continent gestation is almost over. I'm thankful that God has given you a peace about the medical decisions. One day at a time... Look at all these trials here you have been facing - but nothing will stop what God has started! And He is faithful to bring it all to fruition. Praying for you to be anxious for nothing...
With love,
Linda
At 4:37 PM,
Anonymous said…
Christi,
I just found your blog the other day and since then I read practically the whole thing! I enjoyed reading your journey to get your daughter. I just wanted to say what a wonderful person you are. You seem like such a strong and brave person and are going through so many hurdles to get YOUR daughter! After reading this blog I am sure that Abbey is meant to be your daughter. Remember that God only gives us as much as we can handle! Take care and just think, in less than a MONTH you will have your baby!! I am so excited for you!
At 7:30 PM,
Truly Blessed said…
Children are a blessing from the Lord.
Abbey is not only a blessing, she's a jewel!
She's lucky to have you as her Mom and our Heavenly Father as her...Father!
I can't wait to meet you in Beijing!!
Kelly in Michigan
At 9:08 PM,
Deb said…
You have such a way with words, beautifully stated!
*HUGABUGS*
At 7:15 PM,
Anonymous said…
So wonderfully stated and just what I needed to hear!
Keeping you and Abbey in our prayers.
Eileen
At 6:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
Wow, how cool is that? God is incredible like that - how he can rock your world (in a great way) from inside out.
At 6:59 PM,
Redheaded Chick said…
What a moving post! Thank you for sharing!
I wish you a wonderful trip to bring home your daughter...
Tammy
LID 11/18/2005
www.murphyadoption.blogspot.com
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