cherry blossom baby

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 Join the joyous journey to my baby in China!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Parenthood 101

Dear Friends,
I apologize for my lapse in blogging. I want to thank each and every one of you for all your kind words about my daughter. Your enthusiastic support has meant so much to me. This week has proved to be a very challenging one. The day after my referral I awoke at 4 a.m. in a lot of pain. I eventually went to the hospital due to kidney stones. Along with beginning the school year in my first grade teaching position I've had many other issues on my mind. I received my referral last Friday and of course was on Cloud 9 for a few days. On Monday I recieved her medical report translation and on Wednesday her growth report. I then submitted them to my pediatrician. He had some positive things to say but also pointed out some issues of potential concern. At that point I needed to sign the referral acceptance papers and FedEx them the next day, Thursday, so that my agency could send them to China on Friday. I decided to have Dr. Jane Aronson, international adoption specialist, do an expedited (and very pricey) review of my baby's file. I found out that evening that Dr. Aronson was not in the office and that her associate, who specializes in Russian adoption, would be doing the review. They have 4 categories they place referrals into. 1. Average - This covers the risks that we are all aware of with international adoptions. The babies have a normal health report from China with no known medical conditions. The majority of the referrals they see from China fall into this category. 2. Mild - One medical conditon. 3. Moderate - Two medical conditions. 4. Extreme - Three or more medical conditions. They have placed my referral in the mild to moderate risk category. There are some minor issues that would be treatable and then there is the potential that there are more serious concerns. Although there have been tears and moments of feeling nauseous, underneath it all I have felt a consistent sense of peace. My agency encouraged me to take my time exploring all the medical issues and suggested that I not return my paperwork with the group so that they could request a new referral if necessary. I felt that I should return my paperwork and stay the course with my referral. I already feel very attached to my daughter and the thought of another baby is not acceptable to me at this point. Needless to say, there has been a lot of soul-searching and prayer this week. My agency contacted China Thursday night about the situation but received back very little information except that they stand by what they have already written in the exam. I have asked my agency to contact China again this weekend to get additional information as suggested by the doctor. I signed my referral acceptance and it went to China yesterday. I've gone from the heights of excitement to a very sobering state of mind. Having spent the past few years praying about this adoption I do not believe that there would be a mistake in the child selected for me. I believe that God is at work and that He will guide and direct me as I move forward. I will stop this process if I feel that He is directing me to do so, but there have been many obstacles along my path and I have known that I should keep pressing through. In the words of "Amazing Grace"...Through many dangers, toils and snares, we have already come. Tis' grace that's brough us safe thus far, and grace will lead us on. I received an email last week with an interview from Pastor Rick Warren who authored the best selling book, The Purpose Driven Life . The year that his book skyrocketed was also the year that his wife was diagnosed with cancer. He said that he used to think that life was hills and valleys, going from a dark time to a mountaintop, back and forth. He now believes that life is not hills and valleys, but more like two rails on a railroad track, at all times you can have something good going on and something bad. He also says that God is more concerned in our character than our comfort. I could so relate to that this week, as my time of great joy has been tempered by the difficulties. As we know, the adoption process is not all ladybugs and cute outfits and what I am sharing with you now is part of the balance of issues that can arise. I already feel so much love for my daughter and want to respect her privacy by not going into the details of the medical concerns in a public forum but I can discuss things more privately through email. Right now I have 4 pages of emails that I have not yet responded to, but I will as I get back on my feet. I am now going to add my email address to my blogger profile. This situation has really caught me off guard and has very much felt like a shocking and freezing cold shower that you weren't expecting. I have thoroughly educated myself about Chinese adoption but was still under the impression that by being in the non-special needs program I would not receive a referral with known medical concerns. I am very aware that many people have unknown issues arise while in China and upon returning home. Of course this is true of biological children as well.
So this is my overdue update and I again want to say that I appreciate all of you.
Trusting God,
Christi

49 Comments:

  • At 6:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christi,
    I am so sorry for you sickness and this unknown regarding Abbey's health. We are praying for you and know that God will protect you both. Keep your eyes on Him.
    Love & Blessings,
    Amy Gadapee

     
  • At 6:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    I hope your health is back to normal soon!

     
  • At 6:54 AM, Blogger Special K said…

    Oh Christi! What a trying time for you. I hope you're feeling better healthwise.

    I'll say a little prayer for you and Abbey. Hang in there. Whatever is meant to be... will be.

     
  • At 7:04 AM, Blogger C's Mom said…

    Christi -

    You've got so much on your plate right now. First, I hope you are feeling better. As well, my prayers are with you and Abbey as you navigate the worry of the unknowns.

    Hugs to you!

     
  • At 7:12 AM, Blogger Paulette said…

    Kristy,

    My heart and prayers are with you as you make this very difficult decision. God will give you the guidance you need to get through this difficult time.

     
  • At 7:27 AM, Blogger Joannah said…

    You know I've been thinking about you!

    I had kidney stones two years ago! What a nightmare! The pain! The misery! Ouch!

    Take it easy this weekend.

    ((hugs))
    Joannah

     
  • At 7:47 AM, Blogger Angel said…

    Christi,
    I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I hope you're feeling better physically. I'm praying for you and Abbey.

    Call if you'd like to talk.

    Angel

     
  • At 8:02 AM, Blogger RoLo said…

    Thinking of you Christi as you get better yourself and as you wait to hear more about Abbey.

     
  • At 8:14 AM, Blogger Everyone Has a Story... said…

    One Day at a Time.
    Take care of yourself!

     
  • At 8:31 AM, Blogger A said…

    I am praying for you.....

     
  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger Abby's Mom said…

    Christi, My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Abbey. Please hang in there and I hope you are feeling better. I also have to say that I continue to admire your amazing and uplifting attitude and beliefs!!!

     
  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger Michelle said…

    Christi,

    I have enjoyed reading your blog, and as I read it today, I thought about how an expectant mother could also be expecting a healthy child, but noone knows for sure what might happen with any child. I know there are no guarantees with any child in life. I am praying for you, and know that the Lord will give you peace and this is all happening for a reason. I am somewhat surprised as well that you were referred a child with "known" concerns, though. She is a cutie. I pray that God will continue to guide you in this and make the way clear.

    Michelle

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger Email Marketing Yenta said…

    Christi I have been following your story for several weeks now. You are both in my prayers...it will work out.
    God bless you.
    Wendi Caplan Carroll

     
  • At 2:09 PM, Blogger Monica said…

    Sending thoughts & prayers to you and Abbey.

     
  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger D said…

    As a minister I know much of what I can say could end up not being helpful...so I'll say this...I'm praying for you, and remember that God is with you through the bright and dark times in life...and He knows everything...even when we don't!

    Hang in there!

     
  • At 2:39 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 2:41 PM, Blogger Jen said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 6:38 PM, Blogger Catherine said…

    Christi,

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us! I will pray for you and for your beautifu daughter.

    You have such a loving heart and are doing the VERY BEST thing you can - TRUSTING God for His will in this. Oh Christi, hold tight to that faith. He will never let you down.

    Praying for you daily. If there's anything I can do, or specific things you would like me to pray about, please let me know.

    (((hugs)))

    Catherine

     
  • At 7:40 PM, Blogger Dori's Mommy (Diana) said…

    Christi,

    I've added you and Abbey to our prayers!!! (((HUGS)))

    Diana

     
  • At 8:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wish you peace & strength on this journey.

     
  • At 10:04 PM, Blogger Hope for Lucy said…

    Christi
    Im praying for your health and for Ms. Abbey's health. God will get you thru this. You have a beautiful daughter and all she needs is love from you.
    Love
    Connie (in Alabama)
    Green Party of Four

     
  • At 10:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    keeping you in our thoughts and prayers at this time. Get well soon too!

     
  • At 11:28 PM, Blogger Wendy said…

    I'm so sorry. I hope things with Zhou Zhou turn out not to be anything serious. I'm sure it's a difficult decision that you must make. Take care.

     
  • At 5:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christi, I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I've often wondered how I would react in a similar situation, and I must say that I only hope I can be as strong as you. There are so many unknowns with parenting in general, but to a large degree, this adoption process truly is a leap of faith. I'll be praying for both you and Abbey. God never fails us, we only fail Him. Trust your heart.

     
  • At 6:32 AM, Blogger Tamara said…

    You are showing incredible strength and courage. I admire you so much, my thoughts are with you and Abbey.

     
  • At 7:35 AM, Blogger Sandra said…

    Christi - (((HUGS))) and prayers for your health and for the unknown regarding Abbey's health.

    Your trust in God and your hope in Abbey will guide you where you need to be. Thank you for sharing as I've been thinking of you lately.

     
  • At 1:40 PM, Blogger M3 said…

    Christi I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, I can only imagine the extra stress it's adding to an already stressful time. I'm thinking of you and sending my wishes for peace and health (for you and for your baby). Take care of yourself, Mary-Mia

     
  • At 1:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Christi,

    I also think of you and Abbey!
    Get well!!!
    Love and big hug!
    erika from Switzerland

     
  • At 1:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christi~ I have been so worried about you. I will continue to pray for you and Abbey. God will carry you and give you the strength and peace that you need. Many, many hugs to you! Take care of yourself~Bobbi

     
  • At 6:50 PM, Blogger Thumbelina's Mom said…

    Praying for you and Abbey. God is good all the time.

     
  • At 9:51 PM, Blogger Kristin said…

    Christi,

    Your daughter is just lovely and, although I don't know what medical concerns caused the doctor to raise an eyebrow, I think mild to moderate sounds like something you can cope with ... when I look at your little one's face, I just see a child who needs love and attention...

    Hope you are feeling better and congratulations again... Abbey is precious.

     
  • At 1:01 PM, Blogger Diana said…

    Trust God and Follow your Heart;-)

     
  • At 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christi,

    Prayers for you & Abbey are being lifted up.

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I have so enjoyed your blog & if it is God's will, to meet you & Abbey in China.

    Robin Schlafer
    DD Julie, waiting for us @ Yangdong SWI

     
  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Brownie Troop 157 said…

    Christi,

    Zhou Zhou is so cute! congrats. I've put you in my favorites, so I can follow aloang. I'm so excited for you.

    Kind regards from Miami

     
  • At 3:49 PM, Blogger Donna said…

    Sorry you've been going through some bumps...but I know with all these people praying and rooting for you that you and Abbey will be fine...

     
  • At 5:34 PM, Blogger Shannon said…

    Sending love, prayers and strength your way.

     
  • At 6:06 PM, Blogger Beeb said…

    Christi,
    I am moved by your strength and conviction and will keep you and Abbey in my prayers.

     
  • At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christy -

    I am so so sorry to hear of all of the difficulty you have been having!! Kidney stone....what misery. They can make grown men cry. Add to that the unsettling info about Abbey. What an intro into parenthood! I pray all will be well and that you will have strength and peace.

    Alyson
    http://threepsinapod.blogspot.com/

     
  • At 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christi, What wonderful news about Abbey's adoption! We are praying for her health and yours, knowing that God is in control of all details, even the ones we don't know about. We love you! Jan

     
  • At 6:37 AM, Blogger t~ said…

    Christi, I hope you are feeling better. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you travel the road of uncertainty. Your daughter is percious regardless of any health issues that may arise.

     
  • At 9:41 AM, Blogger Elise said…

    Christi, I hope you are feeling better. I am praying for you and Abbey. It is hard to trust in God at times, but he will see you through!

     
  • At 9:42 AM, Blogger Elise said…

    Christi, I hope you are feeling better. I am praying for you and Abbey. It is hard to trust in God at times, but he will see you through!

     
  • At 9:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Jane - Mom to Maggie (Dong, Li Li) a. 1/9/06 YangDong SWI

     
  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger Tao's Mommy said…

    Christi,
    Sending you HUGS!!! You & Abbey will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!
    I know with your heart you will be smiling again soon....feel better!!!

     
  • At 7:26 PM, Blogger Donna said…

    Oh my gosh, Christi, I'm so sorry for the roller coaster of emotions you are on right now. I didn't realize that there could be possible serious health concerns with a referral that is not a special needs referral, although I did realize that some minor concerns could surface with the referral.

    The most important thing is that you made the right decision for you in accepting Abbey's referral and you WILL be able to deal with whatever you need to. Once Abbey is placed in your arms, she will be safe, secure and very well taken care of with you as her momma. Of this, I am absolutely sure.

    Take care and I hope you can get some answers from China on her condition.

    Donna :)

     
  • At 8:31 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    I'm thinking of you and Abbey and wishing you the VERY best! We IA folks stick together so if you need anything at all just start clicking your keyboard and we'll be there!

     
  • At 6:39 AM, Blogger Kim said…

    I'll be praying for you and your daughter and thinking of you both.

    Kim

     
  • At 8:08 AM, Blogger Eliza2006 said…

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know this is not easy for you. You might not feel strong right now, but you are, and I really admire you!

    Tiffany

     
  • At 4:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christi,
    Prayers are all I have to offer for you and your daughter. You both will be in them.

    Carol

     

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