cherry blossom baby

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 Join the joyous journey to my baby in China!

Monday, January 30, 2006

Attachment and Bonding Class

On Saturday I attended a workshop at UCLA sponsored by my home study agency. The focus was on the adjustments our children may go through in this process. One activity that was very helpful was taken from this book: Eyes Wide Open. We were asked to close our eyes and visualize going home for the evening. We walk into our familiar home with all it's landmarks, sites, sounds and smells. We make a favorite snack, put on our jammies, and go to the coziest spot in the house to relax. We will sleep peacefully tonight in our own beds. This will be the last night that will ever happen. Tomorrow we will be given over to the custody of strangers we have never met. We will understand nothing of their language. Their smell, appearance, and ways of communicating will be completely foreign. We will be put on a 26 hour flight, our first time flying ever. We will be taken somewhere we have never seen and nothing will be familiar, all our landmarks will be gone. We will be held and talked to constantly by those we do not know. We will be given food and clothing totally different than what we have ever known. We will be touched and kissed repeatedly by these new caretakers and then placed alone in a dark room.
It was really helpful to put ourselves in our child's place and think of things from their perspective. A friend of mine recently gave me a great tip. She kept the outfit her daughter came from the orphange in and did not wash it. She placed it in the crib for her daughter to sleep with and smell. I thought that was a great idea! Posted by Picasa


  • At 10:49 PM, Blogger Lisa and Tate said…

    Wow..It ws kind of cool to be walked thru what our little daughters will experience!!! It is a great idea about the outfit....another I have heard is for the new parent to sleep with a blanket and stuffed animal for a few weeks then send that to the child in their care package...that way the new child will be familiar with the smell of the new momma...I figure I will do anything I can to help the transition for my gal...



  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Rosie said…


  • At 5:31 PM, Blogger Joannah said…

    I'm going to have to get a copy of that book. Is it available through Amazon?

  • At 8:10 PM, Blogger Caroline said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 8:13 PM, Blogger Caroline said…

    What important information! I haven't ever thought about it that way. I have certainly consider the flight, but not the repeated kissing part. What an unusual level of contact that must be for our daughters. Thank you very much for that perspective. I am a board member of our local Children's Home Society. I will see if they have access to the publication.

    DTC 1/3/06

  • At 10:48 AM, Blogger Nina, David & Ariel said…

    Christi, thank you so much for sharing that perspective and letting us know about the book. What a powerful way to empathize with those babies and their situation. I must have that book!!
    PS You'll love the FCC CNY celebration. It was so much fun seeing all the families and meeting new people!

  • At 1:31 PM, Blogger Journey to Mia Lin said…

    I took this course online through our agency. I really learned a lot!


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