cherry blossom baby

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 Join the joyous journey to my baby in China!

Saturday, January 12, 2008


I also wanted to say that I felt bad posting that I was sad, when I know so many of you would give anything just to have your child, work or not. I felt it was best to share though, as you may face these same things too at some point, and it is where I am at. I also feel bad complaining when I know I have so much time off that many working mothers do not have. I honestly do not know how others do it, but I know none of us would trade the lives we have with our children, regardless of what we have to do to make it all work. I think most of you know that I am usually a "glass is half-full" type of gal and constantly give thanks for all that I do have, but this time my heart got such a squeeze that I had to voice it. One of the things that really helped me to go back to work was the way Abbey's face lit up like a birthday cake when we saw her caregiver. I simply couldn't take it if she was sad to go. And I do think she benefits from the interaction with other kids and all the fun things they do.
As for the direction of my dreams, I especially want to thank Teri, who I don't know how to contact. She posted this...


The Bible says, "You do not have, because you do not ask". It cannot be wrong of us to ask for this in prayer. So, we will. We do.

Now we shall see what the Lord will do. Is *anything* too hard for Him?

Let us know what happens...

(from Iowa)

That comment was like a prophetic word that gave me the umph to really go to God and begin to seek Him. After all the miracles with the cancer and the incredible way He put Abbey and I together, I do know that He can do ANYTHING. I just want to really follow the path He has for us and would appreciate any and all prayers to that end.


  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger Cherith said…

    Truly, do not apologize for expressing your thoughts and feelings on your blog. This really should be your safe space, a chance to be supported and encouraged by those who have grown to love you and Abbey.

    I strongly encourage you to pray along those lines. Nothing, NOTHING is impossible with God. I have seen way too many miracles in my just my own life to ever doubt that.

    I never in a million years expected to be able to stay home with my kids. When my first son was born I was in the middle of a teaching contract and we HAD to have my income. Staying home was out of the question.

    God literally dropped a work at home opportunity into my lap that has allowed me to maintain a full time income while being home with my kids.

    And the true miracle is that He continues to do so. I am currently teaching full time with an online school, from home, while ALSO writing online curriculum from home for another company.


    I will be praying along with you. I would love nothing more than to see this desire of your heart granted. Being home with my children has been more rewarding to me than any alternative I can think of and I wish that every mothing would be granted this opportunity.

    Much love to you and to Abbey.

  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger Cherith said…

    That last sentence should say

    ...and I wish that every mothER would be granted this opportunity.

    Ooops! ;)

  • At 5:13 PM, Blogger Donna said…

    Being a parent is not joyful 100% of the time, no matter how much you love your child. But I'm glad your spirits are on the rise!

  • At 6:01 PM, Blogger Lucky Mama said…

    I hope you're feeling better and that you find a way to realize your dream soon! Go for it.


  • At 10:53 PM, Blogger Katie said…

    Hi! I am a long time reader of your blog and an adoptive parent. I love your blog and darling pictures of Abbey. I have truly enjoyed following your journey.

    I was reading your last post and saw you mention Sini. We traveled to China last Feb. with a family from California. I don't want to mention last names, but was wondering if this Sini is the same Sini that this family adopted? I loved the family and have wondered how Sini was doing often. Unfortunately we have not been in touch - I don't think they read the agency group email. She was around 3, I believe at the time of our adoption. The family's last name begins with a U. If it is the same family I hope they are doing well. If you wouldn't mind passing along my good wishes - my name is Katie and my daughter is Sofie. Husband - Marc. We were with CHI. My blog should be linked as well. Sorry to pester you with this - I just saw the name and jumped at the chance to find out how they were. I really thought the world of them and loved watching Sini come out of her shell in China. Thanks so much for your time, and for sharing your beautiful story.


  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Joannah said…

    I am so excited to learn what God is doing in your life!

    In my opinion, you never need to apologize for being honest about your feelings. I appreciate your authenticity.


  • At 12:34 PM, Blogger C's Mom said…

    Do not feel bad! You were sharing the challenges of your transition and simply stating such as a mama.


  • At 3:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Christy (looong):

    I have been so blessed by your story. I have laughed and cried and worried and cheered along with you, since before Abby came home.

    I was a single mom for 9 years and worked as little as possible until my youngest was in first grade.

    As in, worked just enough to keep us in mac and cheese and garage sale clothing. Coulda cared less about the earning potential I was knowingly sacrificing.

    That being said, we "never lacked anything good thing", including modest vacations, lessons and sports, private church school, nannies from our church and the local college to help in the summer, caring stay-at-home moms to care for my children on the days I *did* have to work.

    God did it ALL. God can do anything, dear Christy; this you certainly know. And as we look at what He has already done for you and Abbey, would He now withhold the resources you need or frustrate you with desires He has no intention of meeting?

    Naaaaahhh. :~)

    As far as your sense of sadness and discontent, it seems only discomfort causes us to seek hard after God. Pain is a great motivator (wry grin). Holy dis-satisfaction has caused you to cry out and I believe that God will come through in a big, ole way (as other commenters have stated).

    Here's a link to my blogs, you can "meet" me and my fam...

    Let us know when the sea parts!

    (from Iowa)

  • At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ooops, here's the links:

    It will be great to "meet" you!

    (from Iowa)

  • At 3:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Great comments. I love the faith that all these people have about God being able to meet ALL YOUR NEEDS! You know without a doubt--you have seen Him in action too much in the last 2-3 years!! He will grant you the desires of your heart! HAVE NO DOUBT AT ALL!!! Just remember the prophetic word that Bille gave you. And if you do not ask--what then???????
    Lots of Love and Prayers!

  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger RoLo said…

    You dont need to apologise that is what your blog is for and what all your bloggy friends are here for to vent and to listen.

    I have nomiated your site for a Blog award, see my site, you have been there for me through our long wait THANK YOU

  • At 5:21 PM, Blogger Our Journey To Eden said…

    Nope, going back to work is not easy... and wouldn't it be tragic if it were??? You love your sweet Abbey so much... it is only natural to feel the way you do. Don't be so hard on yourself.

    I have a more than a master's degree in education, eleven years of teaching experience under my belt, have made it to the top of my pay scale, work at the school of my dreams... but would quit in a second (if I could affort it) to be home with my boys. All that drive and time and money invested in a carreer just doesn't seem to matter when I look at their sweet faces... that seem to grow and change by the day. You are not alone.

    I will say a little prayer for you too!

  • At 4:57 AM, Blogger Catherine said…

    Hey friend, this is your blog and I'm glad you take the opportunity to post all that you're feeling...the good, the bad and the sad. You need the outlet to do it and those of us who may be facing similar situations in the present or future, can benefit from your honesty. Blog away away!

    Glad to hear you're feeling better and that Abby enjoys her caregiver so much. Looks like so does some awesome crafts either there or at home.

    The picture with the judge is a wonderful keepsake. She's so pretty and has grown so much.

    When you get that Passport, if you're ever travelling north of the border please let me know and if you're close we'll hook up for sure. I'm heading to CA next week but northern CA.

    Praying for you as you seek you desires and God's Will.



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