cherry blossom baby

A New Chapter Has Begun

2008-08-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

We are in China now and can finally begin posting our adventures. We would love to have you join us on our new blog CherryBlossomLife!

Snow White and the Ten Days

2008-07-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

When Abbey was potty training her goal was to fill a page with stickers and get a Snow White dress. She's never seen any Disney movies but did bump into Snow White herself on our trip to Disneyland for her 3rd birthday, and she has never stopped talking about it. We were at an exhibit in California Adventure and looked up to see Snow White standing shoulder to shoulder with us. She said hello and then ran away but that moment made a huge impression on Abbey. Anyway, the first Snow White dress we got at Target fell apart the first day (we put it on in the store before we even paid for it). The second dress that we got at ToysRUs has been fabulous.
She wears it all the time. This picture is from a baby shower we went to yesterday. She loves it when people say "Hi Snow White". She wants me to get a Sleeping Beauty dress (because as she says, I always go pee-pee in the potty) and dress up a long with her.

Two funny things about Miss Abbey. 1) She always "takes notes" on everything. For example if she is working on a puzzle she will say, "Just a minute, I've got to write this down!", and run over to another table with a little note pad and pen and write some things down (scribbles) and then go work some more and then run to make more notes about what she's done. 2) She tapes notes she's made anywhere I will let her. Especially before nap she needs to make little signs and tape them on to her special things telling people, "Nobody touch this" or "Don't move this". Where she gets all this I do not know, but nobody better mess with her things because she comes back to check on it all later. Her most important things get hidden in her play refrigerator.

And we have ten days until we leave. There is no way I can explain what this has been like, but suffice it to say - not easy. We have had lots of support and help though, which we greatly appreciate. I am waking up each day at about 3:30 a.m. and have just decided to start my day then, otherwise my mind can't stop with the mental lists. Our home now looks like the Who house after the Grinch has stripped everything. Please pray that it will lease and that we will get everything important done. God is building up my faith and helping me overcome my fears. Of course Abbey makes everything fun and the delight of spending time with her is the joy of each day.

More Red Thread

2008-07-04T20:00:00.000-07:00

Taking a brief moment from the mountain of "to do's" to catch my breath. This is quite a mountain I am attempting to climb with the impending move to China in 19 days, but I find comfort in the thought that it is not as daunting as the adoption or the medical battle I went through to get Abbey. I wanted to share a red thread story with you. Somewhere back along our way I met a friendly lady named Paulette who was starting down the adoption pathway. We shared a common career of teaching, the plan to adopt as single moms, and best of all our faith in God. We communicated through emails and blogs and were eventually were able to spend a day together when Paulette traveled to our area. Abbey loved her day with Paulette and so did I. We were thrilled when she received her referral and I was amazed to learn that the child she was matched with was at the orphanage that the school and foundation I am going to work with is involved in serving. There's more that I won't say yet, but her daughter Annalise now has some special friends watching over her. When Paulette shared her news with me she had no idea that I was moving to China, much less to be working with her daughter's orphanage, as I had told no one in blogdom of my plans yet. Out of all the orphanages in China, her daughter was at our destination. To top it off we are traveling at the same time and as we finish our first week in China we hope to have Paulette and Annalise as our first house guests. We could have never imagined when we last met the path that would be unfolding before us.

Faces I Love and More About China

2008-06-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

This is my lovely niece along with little Miss Muffet. We just returned from a glorious trip to see my dad and two of my closest friends. It was wonderful and the first time I've been able to catch my breath in weeks. We had so much fun.
Now back to the daunting task of preparing to leave for a year. I cannot believe how much there is to do!
At the time I went to China to meet Abbey, in November 2006, my friends had just opened a school in Sh*nzhen. It's a fabulous cutting edge program for Chinese parents who want their children to learn English. There is a preschool program that runs all day, an after school program for older kids, and weekend classes on Saturday and Sunday. They also run intensive English camps during summer and Chinese New Year breaks. I will be teaching in and overseeing the preschool program. The children rotate through classes like Kindermusic, Zoophonics, and Gymboree in the morning and then have lunch, naps, Chinese, and Math in the the afternoon. So Abbey's instruction in the a.m. will be in English and in the p.m. in Chinese. All her peers will be Chinese speaking but in the process of learning English. I think this will be a great mix for her. We will be living in the same beautiful complex that houses the school. This cuts out the 1 and 1/2 hr commute we currently have each day between daycare and work. Another beautiful aspect of our venture is that part of the proceeds from the school have been used to establish a foundation to help orphans. Two schools have been started inside the two orphanages in the area. These children would not otherwise be able to attend school. In addition to the schools the foundation has also been able to set up surgeries and medical help for children within the orphanages, bring gifts, take groups to HK Disneyland, paint and decorate, etc. I want to be discreet but hope you can understand that this is truly a multi-faceted work that we have the privilege of joining. There is much that I will be unable to share in the blog or in email.
When I first began praying about adoption there was such a huge expansion in my heart of a dream that had always been there, a heart for orphans and children in need. I remember asking God what this big opening in my heart meant. Was I to
a) adopt,
b) encourage other families to adopt
c) work with an orphanage
I felt that His answer to me was d) all of the above, and begin with adopting my daughter.
I knew as I was on the journey to Abbey that I was crossing through a portal and my life would never be the same. This was the doorway into a whole new dimension.
So our current move is an unfolding of that calling, and where it will all lead to we do not yet know. Everyone's situation is unique, but for us I have felt that Abbey would benefit from a bi-cultural experience as young as possible and that the friendships and connections she will have in China will be a wonderful foundation for her life.

Slow Boat to China

2008-06-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember a post I wrote in January about how sad I was to return to work after spending Christmas break with Abbey.

"When I went back to work last January after getting Abbey it was hard. When I went back to work after being with her this summer it was harder. Going back today is the hardest of all. I'd give anything to have a year at home with her."

One of the comments that came in was...

"The Bible says, "You do not have, because you do not ask". It cannot be wrong of us to ask for this in prayer. So, we will. We do. Now we shall see what the Lord will do. Is *anything* too hard for Him?Let us know what happens...Teri(from Iowa)"

Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. It was a message to my heart. I began praying and asking God that week if there was a way I could be with Abbey for a year while she is a preschooler. As I thought and prayed I began to consider the school we visited in China when I first got Abbey. I contacted my friends there and they said they would love to have us come for a year. That set me down a path I am still on of asking, seeking, knocking to find God's will in the matter. Believe me when I say that these months have been filled with many thoughts, questions, and decisions. I hope this gives some explanation and excuse as to why I haven't posted much in this time.

So the end result is that Abbey and I leave July 23 for a year in China! Over the coming weeks I will share more about why we are going and what we will be doing. We would love to have you join us on this venture and I would cherish you prayers. More to follow soon.

One Day...

2008-06-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

Abbey has been cracking me up this week....

While at Barnes and Noble with some friends she got up on their story stage and did a whole little storytelling show. She had a lot of fairy books (which she was calling angels) and she kept telling each story starting off with "One day..." Which seems to be her version of "Once upon a time..."

She's been asking for junk mail every day and walks around saying, "This is my email."

She zeroed in on a parenting book that a friend bought for me and has been carrying it everywhere saying, "This is very important to me." She had to sleep with it on the floor next to her bed the other night. She came and crawled in my bed in the middle of the night and the next day there it was laying next to my bed. She remembered to bring it in the middle of the night. She always brings something important with her.

When Abbey was a baby she hated loud noises. During the past school year a friend of mine has been cleaning my house while we are gone during the day. Today was my first day back on cleaning duty and Abbey ran and hid in a little tiny nook in the closet under the staircase when I turned on the vacuum. She often hides under the bathroom sink when I have my hair dryer on. She is just so cute running around in her undies and her crown.

I am so proud of her for wearing "real" underwear all week. Suddenly she's a little girl. I would be sad to let go of babyhood, but there is so much joy and wonder as her life is unfolding that there is no room for sadness, just amazement, profound joy, and gratitude to God.

Last night we visited the new church where my sister and brother-in-law are now pastoring and she did so great just going in to a new place and a new class. A few weeks ago we visited a friends church for a memorial service and Abbey was perfectly happy to go into their children's department.

A couple of weeks ago on our way to church I stopped by my sister's house to pick up something I left there the day before. As we pulled up Abbey said, "I like this church. It's really small." I explained that it was Auntie's house, where we had just been the day before. She is so funny.

When I have to say no to a request Abbey expectantly responds "maybe next time" or "maybe someday".

I bought her a Snow White cup for her excellent potty training and you would think it is the crown jewel. I couldn't have imagined that someone could ever get so much enjoyment out of a little plastic cup. She hides it in her little pink refrigerator when she goes to sleep.

Abbey has an imaginary Doctor, Dr. Wu. (aka Dr. WuWu) Sometimes she herself is Dr. Wu and sometimes it's third person. We had to see an alternate Dr. last week, Dr. Rueben, and Abbey started talking about Dr. Wu while we were in the office. Dr. Rueben thought she was calling her Dr. Ru and I had to explain our Dr. Wu. Let me tell you, Dr. Wu gives lots of shots.

Abbey and I have a secret joke. It's whispering "bobby pin" in each others ears. We both do it to each other when she is going to sleep and just laugh and laugh.

She is such a delightful creature and I never imagined I could be so incredibly blessed.

Spring Art

2008-05-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

We've reached the tipping point. Abbey has now been home with me longer than the first eighteen months of her life that she spent in China. The incredible blessing of have her in my life just grows with every passing day.

Birthday Brunch

2008-05-10T16:45:00.000-07:00

Due to family schedules we combined four April birthdays and had a brunch (the only open time slot we were all available). Abbey requested a "chocolate milk" birthday cake and picked out at great one. Up until recently she had never had chocolate, but between the M & M's for potty training a pretend chocolate milk cartoon she plays with at daycare she's figured it out, and let me tell you it ranks high in her preferences. She was also introduced to bacon at the brunch and it went over very well.
This was the year for games. She got Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, a Ladybug Game, Fairytale Memory, etc. Our first game a few months ago was Hi Ho Cherry-o and she loved it so much that we decided to go for more. She is really enjoying them.
3 years old, what a wonderful time. I thought it couldn't get any better than 2, but some how it is. I am just SO thankful every day for my daughter.

Still Savoring

2008-05-10T16:31:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in the past three weeks, but I am still savoring our special moments at Disneyland. Abbey is still talking about Dumbo, the Teacups, and the Hip Hip Hooray on a daily basis. I am sure we will have more trips to Disney in the future, but this set of sweet memories will never be forgotten.
Snow White made a huge impression on Abbey. We ran into her at California Adventure and Abbey was completely taken with her. She's never seen any Disney or princess movies but it was love at first sight. Now Batman (whom she has also never seen in a cartoon or movies) are both huge in her mind. She let me know the other day that she wants to be Batman for Halloween next year. And she really likes Snow White's white collar on her dress, so I see one of those in our near future too.

Princess Paint and Mouse Ears

2008-04-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

Abbey wanted to have her face painted at the Princess Faire after spotting another girl with it. I thought it would last about 45 minutes and then we would be wiping it off, but she truly loved it and we left it on for 3 days until the last vestiges were washed away during a shampoo. She wanted pink, glitter, and big curliques, and sat perfectly still as they did it.
She also knew precisely which pair of mouse ears she wanted and wore them non-stop.
Watching her watch the parade was amazing. She calls it the Hip Hip Hooray!!! She was dancing around waving to all the characters and gobbling up spoonfuls of Avonlea's mint chip ice cream. Delightful with a capital D.

Magic Kingdom

2008-04-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well now I understand what the big deal is about Disneyland, it was absolutely magical! I hadn't been in over 20 years and it couldn't have been more fun. We loved it. It was all new for us and our only introduction to everything was a sing-a-long video that Abbey saw the day before. From that she knew she wanted to head straight to the Teacups.Our next ride was Alice in Wonderland. I asked her if she wanted to sit in the front or back seat and with myself or Avonlea ( my wonderful niece) and she said that she wanted to sit in the front seat alone. Alrighty then, Mommy sees you are big enough for rides.
We basically just set up camp in Fantasyland. Once she got on Dumbo that is all she wanted to do and has been talking about it ever since. We rode it five or six times. She likes to go full throttle and get Dumbo up as high as you can and stay there.

One time 1/2 way through the line she said "I go pee-pee potty!" and we started climbing out of the maze of chains and lines and running to the Alpine Haus. Can you believe we made it and that all the nice people let us back in our spot which was now near the front of the line? We ended up doing that on another ride too. It's kind of like Fast Pass. You establish your place in line, run to the bathroom, and come back when it's time to get on.

Loving the Casey Jr. Train.

*A special thank you to Someone Wonderful who gave us these never-to-be-forgotten two days. It was the best gift I've ever received.

More to follow...

Abbeyisms

2008-04-12T22:33:00.001-07:00

This child cracks me up. I love her strong and very funny personality. As some have said, "she's no shrinking violet." She is in the toddler mode of repetition, repetition, repetition. We had started out the new year reading The Beginner's Bible every night and we've made it through quite a chunk but have recently gotten side-tracked to these Read-Aloud Bible Stories which I love. I've used these (three volumes) for years because of the huge pictures and simple preschool text. Abbey is now fixated on the story of the Good Samaritan. I had been a little dismayed when after reading about The Boy Who Shared His Lunch (feeding of the 5,000) Abbey told me in no uncertain terms that she did not want to share any of her food. When we moved on to our current story she also made it clear she had no intention of helping the hurt man. She's softened over the week and is now saying that she would help him. She loves it that the man gets bandages and has insisted on wearing several Batman band-aids all week. We acted out the story again tonight as I put her in bed. She was the sick man and I had to put on all her medicine and bandages and give her water to drink.

We also act out (EVERY NIGHT) her trip to the dentist office months ago. She is the dentist and puts on her gloves, and wants me to smell them to confirm that they are bubblegum flavor, and then she examines all my teeth with her eye right to my mouth and her forehead pressed up to my lips. If she could she would crawl right into my mouth. She gives me some sunglasses in case the light is too bright. She gives me water and has me swish and spit. She counts my teeth, proclaims them good, and then lets me get a token for a bouncy ball (at this point she has now departed from reality and says it is a gumball that the dentist gives - it was a gumball machine with toys in it). The machine has to be too hard for me to turn so she has to turn the handle for me. She holds open a bag for me to put all my goodies in (toothbrush, toothpaste, stickers). If the dentist only knew of the esteemed position she holds in Abbey's eyes!

She completely burnt me out on my Switchfoot CD which for some reason she calls "brand new". I finally had to put it away and tell her I am just sick of it. Now she has a couple of songs on a new worship CD that she asks me to play over and over. I still like them for now but it won't last long.

When she doesn't want to do something I ask, and probably has no intention of ever doing, she tries to let me down easy and tell me "maybe later Abbey will do that" ( she talks about herself third person, Elmo style) or "when I am older I will do that." Tonight she told me that she might eat vegetables when she is taller and I explained that she wouldn't be getting any taller if she doesn't eat them. When she doesn't do something she's supposed to she will also tell me, in a very hope filled voice, "maybe next time", meaning that in the future she might pick up toys, tell me that she has to go potty, etc.

Her favorite sayings right now are "Oh! I got!!", meaning I forgot, and "not TOO much, a little bit lot" so that I will know exactly how much milk or other foods to give her.

She's added thunder and the dark to her list of things to avoid and is still talking about lions everyday. Last week while sailing in her laundry basket boat she used her wand/paddle to whack tons of alligators. I finally had to open the door and shoo them all out of the house.

I plan on getting back to my camera this week and taking pictures as we take our first trip to Disneyland and celebrate her third birthday. She has a new super short haircut to beat the heat.

It Works!

2008-04-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

After hearing many experienced moms share their perspectives on potty training I decided to wait until I knew Abbey was really ready. I had heard that if you wait long enough they train themselves, and that has been true for us. We both enjoyed her time in diapers and since I didn't get her until she was 18 months it never got old for me. Although she could have done it 6 months ago I just didn't feel it was the right time, and now I am so glad I waited. A couple of weeks ago we went to Costco and bought a huge case of diapers. The next day she woke up dry from her nap and I took her in to use the potty. Something clicked and I just knew we were both ready. We returned the diapers and got pull-ups instead. She just took to it all like a duck to water and it has been so easy and fun. This picture is from our trip to get her a bike helmet which is what she wanted for filling up her potty chart. She has no need for a helmet, but she just thinks bike riders are so cool and has always been very impressed with their helmets. The other thing that really helped was M & M's. She's only had a little bit of sugar at special occasions, so treats have been really thrilling for her. I am so proud of her! Way to go Abbey!

Sweet Treats

2008-03-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

Bittersweet

2008-03-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

I awoke to a horrific migraine today. My 5 a.m. Relpax didn't work so at 8 a.m. I broke down and gave myself an Imitrex shot. We missed Easter Sunday church but I finally did pull the two of use together and we took our Peeps cupcakes and made it in time for a little luncheon afterwards. I decided to save her beautiful new dress for her 3 yr. old pictures and birthday next month. We've already had many fun Easter activities including a great Egg Hunt yesterday. I thank God for my mom who once again saved the day and entertained Abbey so that I could lay down. We did manage one fun thing this morning...
I printed out little pictures of items around the house from do2learn and taped them to her eggs. She went on a little hunt using the clues and got very excited. One egg would have a picture of her socks and she would go to her sock drawer and find another egg with another picture. There were some little toy prizes along the way like a wind up chick and some Easter Little People toys and finally the last one took her out the front door to her basket. Her favorite surprise in there was a Kelly doll with a helmet riding a bike. She was so cute to watch running around.
She amazed me again this week when she went up to some bunny and egg decorations at home and said, "Easter Bunny, Easter Bunny what do you see? I see eggs looking at me." That was her text transformation of Brown Bear, Brown Bear so now it's our new little language game.
And as for the true story of Easter she likes to say "Don't cry!" as the angel said to Mary at the tomb of Jesus. He is not here, He is risen!!

Bunny Bravery

2008-03-16T15:48:00.001-07:00

She's scared of lions (I keep assuring her there are none in the house) but, "I not scared of dat Eater Bunny Mommy." She has also been talking about "Ho-Ho" (Santa) and the Easter Bunny all mixed together. It's clear to her now that they both give you candy. She is so excited about the eggs, bunnies, and all of it. We went on a trial run egg hunt yesterday and I am glad we did because we had some problems and will now be better prepared for the real one next weekend. First, I didn't know until right when the gate opened that parents couldn't go in and neither did she. I pushed her on in but she just kind of stood there frozen. I kept yelling "pick up the eggs, pick up the eggs!" which she did begin to do, but we were still trying to get over the fact that we had been separated. Then my new camera stopped and I had no idea why, I later found out that I had not charged the battery. Then she cracked open the eggs which I had said would have candy and they had nothing, empty. Next week will go much more smoothly I hope. She really had fun at all the little game booths they had and I must say that she has a very good throwing arm. She got lots of fun little prizes. When she wakes up from her nap we will be dyeing eggs today!

Growing Pains

2008-03-10T21:49:00.000-07:00

Just this morning I was thinking about how wonderfully distracting it is to have someone so cute in your rear-view mirror. This evening a whole different scene took place. Abbey had her first tantrum. I am hoping it was due to the time change and the fact that she had a very short (1 hour) nap today. She usually says "no home" when I pick her up from daycare, meaning that she wants to go out and have some fun as opposed to dinner, bath, and bedtime. Sometimes we do go out for some errands or out to dinner and she loves it, but of course we usually do go home. Tonight the whole thing escalated as we drove past a shopping center where I had recently taken her for her first frozen yogurt (with mini m&ms). I don't let her have many treats so it was a really big deal. When she realized we were going past the same place today she completely melted down. I was shocked. She was literally yelling at me to go back and had a fit the whole way home. For a brief moment I considered giving in and then got a hold of myself, what was I thinking? Reinforce this behavior? But since she never acts like this and was short on sleep I ignored as best I could (and prayed softly, but loud enough for her to hear) until we got home and then had a special talk, followed by another one before bedtime, at which time she said she was sorry and I explained future consequences for yelling at Mama. I hope we both have a very good night's sleep.
I've been tied up all week with report cards and taxes but am free at last. We celebrated by going to get Abbey's Easter dress yesterday. This followed and emotional morning at church. My sister and brother-in-law resigned from pastoring our church last week. I did pretty well at their big farewell party, but when it came to going this week and not having them there, it just about did me in. I was bawling through the worship and kept thinking "I can't do this, I have to leave." I could see a guest speaker up front and his wife and can you believe my attitude... I was thinking that I didn't like them, for no reason, I just didn't like that they were there and from the back of their heads I didn't like them...very silly, I know. Anyway, when he actually got up to share it turned out that this couple had adopted three children from a country in Africa that has never had any children adopted out to America. It took them six years and they made trips over during that time and decided they would parent these children even if they had to do it long distance and could never bring them home. It was a wonderful message and of course I loved this couple so much as I heard their story. Fickle, huh? But God really met me right where I was at and just when I thought I couldn't move forward he had the right people there at the right time.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear

2008-02-29T21:59:00.001-08:00

I don't know what happened to this photo that was originally in my last post. I am such a bad blogger these days, I keep thinking I should just give up, but then I think of all that is to come and hope that I can improve. I should be able to atleast post a few sentences once a week, right?
Anyway, my most recent excitement is that Abbey is beginning to say the words while reading books. She is really into the rhythm of Brown Bear, Brown Bear. I never understood the big fuss over that book, but now that it's gotten Abbey chanting the words I am pretty impressed with it. When I first brought her home from China she was only interested in turning the pages in books and I am so happy now that she has begun to bring me stacks as soon as we get home and will actually let me read them to her.

And, before I fall asleep, I wanted to share this article with you. I can hardly wrap my mind around it....

China may scrap one-child policy, official says

By Lucy HornbyThu Feb 28, 10:03 AM ET Yahoo News - Reuters

China, worried about an ageing population, is studying scrapping its controversial one-child policy but will not do away with family-planning policies altogether, a senior official said on Thursday.

With the world's biggest population straining scarce land, water and energy resources, China has enforced rules to restrict family size since the 1970s. Rules vary but usually limit families to one child, or two in the countryside.

"We want incrementally to have this change," Vice Minister of the National Population and Family Planning Commission Zhao Baige told reporters in Beijing.

"I cannot answer at what time or how, but this has become a big issue among decision makers," Zhao said. She added that the current plan was to study the issue seriously and responsibly, but avoid sudden changes that might cause a spike in births.

"Minority groups already have two children, even three, and in the cities like Shanghai and Beijing, a lot of only children are already released (to have two), but the most important is those in the middle like in Henan... nearly a hundred million people, but strongly influenced by the classical way, they want a son, and they are already very fragile environmentally."

Teams studying the issue would have to consider the strain of China's huge population on its scarce resources, popular attitudes, and how much of a social net China can afford to provide without the traditional reliance on large families to care for the aged, she said.

Surveys show that 60 percent of Chinese younger than 30 want a maximum of two children, and only a "very small" number want more than three, Zhao said.

The average number of children that would be born to a woman over her lifetime has decreased to 1.8 in China today, from 5.8 in the 1970s, and below the replacement rate of 2.1.

RELAXATION

In recent years, China has sought to soften its draconian and often controversial family control policies, which have included forced abortions and other punitive measures.

But local officials remain under intense pressure to keep numbers down, leading to skewed statistics and sometimes brutality.

The country is now relying more on education, especially about contraception, said Zhao, in charge of international cooperation, education and communication at the ministry.

China says its policies have prevented several hundred million births and boosted prosperity, but experts have warned of a looming social time-bomb from an ageing population and widening gender disparity stemming from a traditional preference for boys.

Normally, between 103 and 107 boys are born for every 100 girl infants, but in China, 118 boys are born for every 100 girls, Zhao said. Experimental policies include trying to improve women's welfare and girls' access to schooling.

Still, the government has previously expressed concern that too many people are flouting the rules.

State media said in December that China's population would grow to 1.5 billion people by 2033, with birth rates set to soar over the next five years.

Officials have also cautioned that population controls are being unraveled by the increased mobility of China's 150 million-odd migrant workers, who travel from poor rural areas to work in more affluent eastern cities.

China has vowed to slap heavier fines on wealthy citizens who flout family planning laws, in response to the emergence of an upper class willing to pay standard fines to have more children.

(Editing by Sugita Katyal and Jerry Norton)

Funny Girl

2008-02-24T21:16:00.001-08:00

I am amazed at the changes in my little one!

In January she began praying her own prayers. She had been saying "Dear Lord" and "Amen" for a long time, and filling in names in case I forgot anyone, but suddenly began completely praying on her own. It's so heartwarming to hear her.

I found out that her teachers from her little speech group class refer to her as the Cruise Ship Director, and that is such perfect title for her. She is always checking to see that everyone is included, that they have everything they need, and that they are having FUN! Her little class consists of 5 boys and herself, and she loves it.

I fell this weekend and really hurt my knee. She was helping me with the band aids and I got teary eyed as the peroxide began to sting. She said, "Don't cry big mommy!" and ran and got the first stuffed animal she ever fell in love with, Doggie, and brought it to me. Then she went and got her favorite blankie and told me to play with the fringe on it, that it was "fun". Touching the fringe is her biggest comfort and it was so sweet that she brought it to me.

At a party yesterday someone asked her how old she was and she said, "Two, almost three," and I just stood there gaping...she doesn't miss anything...so I guess she knows she has a birthday coming up.

All of the sudden she knows how to use the computer by herself too. We had gone on starfall.com a couple of times and then she just took over the mouse and started doing the activities all on her own. It feels like every day she transforms, like she's grown up over night.

She got to go over to Madison's house to play this weekend and wear Miss M's "tutu train" (ballet tutu) over her jeans. Madison, and Abbey's friend Derica, are both really into princess things and although Abbey knows nothing about any of that she is starting to take it in from playing with them. Tonight she told me that I could call her princess. It is really fun now that she is interacting more with her friends and not just playing along side each other. She and MM were galloping around the house and so happy to eat dinner together at their own little table.

All I can say each day is thank you, thank you, thank you to God.

CNY - The Partying Continues

2008-02-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

The big FCC event was really fun, but I loved even more our get togethers with friends. We were very honored to be asked by two families to be their guests for Chinese New Year, last Saturday and Sunday. Double Happiness!! The first party was about 20 adults and 10 children. We had traditional Chinese feast that my friend's mom spent days preparing. It was incredible. Abbey insisted on using chopsticks, sometimes with two hands and sometimes in the perscribed manner. I think she's doing great with them for her age and I love it that she wants to master the technique. Abbey prepared hong bao (red envelopes) with gold foil chocolate coins, thanks to Sandra's great idea, and passed them out to all the children. We also brought some stuffed rats and tangerines (for a sweet life). Abbey received some hong bao with lucky money from my friend Janet and from her mom. Abbey loved playing with her friend Derica who is the same age, and several other friends. We had such a great time and were sorry when we had to leave. The next day we had a more intimate gathering with with our friends Zen and Sherry, and sweet little Olivia, who is also 2. Sherry made so many fabulous dishes and I ate the equivalent of 3 or 4 meals, but I wasn't going to miss this golden opportunity. One of my favorite dishes was Zen's tempura shrimp. At both feasts we were served corn with pine nuts, which is a very yummy combination. Oh, and the jiaoza, how I love it! After gleaning many things about China, and Chinese culture, and sipping lots of hot tea, I finally realized that Abbey had gone completely wild with glee and that it was past her bedtime, so we had to pack up and go. She came with more lucky money from our very generous friends, which she has been taking around in her shopping cart and high heels and thinking about what she will purchase. It's the first time she's had any cash and she's very happy about that. Both of these special celebrations will always be treasured in our hearts. So much kindness has been extended to us, may we some how be a blessing in return.

Blessed

2008-02-14T23:51:00.001-08:00

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Joyful Hearts

2008-02-14T23:11:00.000-08:00

Abbey was so excited as we headed out this morning. She sat in the back seat and applied pretend lipstick and eyeshadow out of her little purse and kept saying, "I'm almost ready for the party".

The little heart with the handprint was the first one she ever cut out and as you can see she has now done several more. She LOVES cutting! I think it's funny that her hometown in China, Yangdong, is the place where all the scissors are made.

We melted pink and red crayons in heart shaped muffin cups and made little heart crayons for her friends.

She gets funnier by the day. She has left off a little on "Why?" and is now using "What?!!" whenever I give any kind of instruction or information she wishes she hasn't heard. After 3 days of racking my brain trying to figure out where that came from, I realized that I had been saying 'what' frequently to have her repeat things so that I could understand her better. It's all coming back to me now. She has also decided to add "Now!" to all her requests. "Mommy, I want a baby orange, Now!"

We had fun today and went to the mall and out to eat after school. I love it when we get to be together and just enjoy each other. I never ceased to be amazed to have this wonderful little person in my life. How blessed am I to be the mommy of this sweet child?

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you from Miss Abbey!

Kicking Off CNY 2008

2008-02-06T23:53:00.000-08:00

Our FCC has two banquets because we have such a big group, 800 people each night. The event takes place in the heart of China Town and is definitely an evening to remember. We only stayed for 1/2 the night and left before the magician and firecracker stomp. Abbey doesn't "get" princesses yet but the bigger girls loved seeing Miss China Town and her court.
This is ZsaZsa the acrobat entertaining the awestruck girls. This gal was doing things like spinning three raw eggs on stick on her nose.

Abbey had some very funny dance moves and I have no idea where they've come from. They involve squatting, which she seems to be a master at. She was dancing full throttle until she had a head on collision with a couple of other wild girls. They all popped right back up and started dancing again. She is truly a party girl.

I thought the lion dancers might be a little too loud but Abbey was mesmerized and LOVED it. She loves drums and was thrilled when the two lions started throwing oranges back and forth between their mouths.

Prayers for Change

2008-02-04T21:18:00.001-08:00

I'm still trying to process what I saw in China's Stolen Children. I can't quit thinking about it. Extremely difficult and sad, but I think anyone with a sincere interest in the children of China should see it. I can't seem to get the link right but if you type the title in the search box at youtube.com it will pull up all the links. There are 9 segments. It's really hard to get my mind around everything and my heart just aches for all the people this affects.

More news on the situation in China

2008-02-02T10:29:00.001-08:00

February 1st, 2008

Here’s an update on conditions and needs at the HTS institutions. Some will be repetition from last night. I think it will be useful to have all in one list. I will post this on our website as well and update whenever I can. We’re still trying to get through to a few orphanages. We’ll provide information regarding those and other orphanages needing help just as soon as we have it. In general the needs are for fuel, food, disposable diapers, warm clothing and bedding. Prices are soaring because no goods can be shipped and cold weather has destroyed all winter crops. Half the Sky is responding to the emergency by getting funds directly to the institutions in a variety of ways.

Beihai, Guangxi – Although ill-prepared for the bitter cold, the institution has so far managed to keep the children warm and fed. Changzhou, Jiangsu – suffered the largest snowfall in Jiangsu Province. Several buildings have collapsed. But the institution rushed to prepare for the cold and the children are fine.

Chengdu, Sichuan – is experiencing the coldest winter in memory. They need a large room heater, diapers, shoes, socks and winter jackets.

Chenzhou, Hunan – still facing the most difficulties of the orphanages we’ve reached. They’ve had no electricity or running water for 8 days and there is almost no possibility that power will be restored before New Year’s Eve (the 6th of February.) Because of the blackout, the hospital is closed. 20 children are ill and being cared for by institution staff as well as they can. The banks are closed so staff is contributing personal funds to buy food, coal and diapers. Prices are skyrocketing as all roads to Chenzhou remain impassable.

Chongqing – warm and well, despite the terrible cold

Chuzhou, Anhui - has both water and power. Only public transportation has failed. HTS nannies and teachers are walking to work. They are leaving home extra early to be there for the children.

Fuzhou, Jiangxi - lost power for a few days but now it is back to normal. The snow stopped a couple of days ago but now is falling again. The directors and HTS staff have gathered all the children into one big room to keep them warm. They’ve bought New Years clothes for the children and will have a party no matter how bad the weather. This year, however, the foster parents will stay home to keep the children safe. The institution has enough food and water. They want us to focus on those in more serious trouble and ask us please not to worry.

Gaoyou, Jiangsu – Despite incredibly heavy snow, the children are warm and well.

Guangzhou, Guangdong – This city is truly unaccustomed to cold and it is getting more difficult to find necessities to keep children warm. They ask for 30 space heaters and warm bedding.

Guilin, Guangxi - has two broken HTS heater/air conditioners in the Infant Nurture rooms and they’ve asked us to replace. The rooms are very, very cold. They ask for more soft matting for the floors and also snow boots for our HTS nannies who’ve been slipping and falling in the ice and snow as they come to work. They are so ill-equipped to handle severe weather.

Guiyang, Guizhou – no report yet. Haikou, Haikou – Even sunny Hainan Island is experiencing a chill. The orphanage request a clothes dryer to keep the children in clean warm clothes.

Hefei, Anhui – reports that they have everything under control and the children are warm and well-fed. Huangshi, Hubei – is in desperate need of disposable diapers. They ask for funds to purchase since goods can’t be sent to them right now. All heater/air conditioners have stopped functioning. They need quilts and warm clothes for the children. Several HTS nannies have fallen on the ice on their way to work and they need medicine to treat cuts and bruises.

Jiujiang, Jiangxi – had another heavy snow storm last night. Pipes have burst and the five boilers are broken. They are unable to bathe the children and are having trouble keeping them warm. They need quilts, bedding, warm shoes and space heaters. They need medicine for infant coughs and colds.

Lianyungang, Jiangsu – is doing the best they can despite the lowest temperatures in history. While they still insist we help others first, they do request winter jackets for the children, warm mats to cover the floor and bottles for babies with cleft lip/palate. The last item we’ll have to ship from Beijing as soon as we are able.

Luoyang, Henan – all is well. They are accustomed to the cold.

Maoming, Guangdong - no report yet

Maonan District, Maoming, Guangdong – In the sunny south, they have never seen this kind of cold and damp weather before. It’s been a month with another month in the forecast. They need space heaters. Local citizens have donated warm clothes and blankets for the children.

Nanchang, Jiangxi – asks for warm floor mats and disposable diapers. They need a working room heater. Their electrical supply has been sporadic and with only a small generator, they’re not confident they can continue to provide heat to keep the children warm.

Nanjing, Jiangsu – continues to manage, despite the heavy snows. They would like 200 children’s blankets but insist that we look after others with greater needs first.

Nanning, Guangxi – is experiencing its worst winter in 48 years. They are doing their best to weather the storm but could use 6 large space heaters,86 warm quilts for our Family Village and disposable diapers. Like many places, they are having trouble finding affordable food right now and would appreciate a subsidy to help through this difficult time.

Qingyuan, Guangdong – no report yet. Sanya, Hainan – all is well in this southernmost tip of China. Shaoguan, Guangdong – needs disposable diapers for 27 babies. They need 3 large room heaters and warm mats for the floors.

Shaoyang, Hunan - has seen heavy snow every day for 20 days. There is sufficient water and, for the moment, there is power, so the children are warm. However, 5 of 6 power poles have been downed by weather. Only one stands and the institution fears it will fall as well, leaving them without electricity. Much of the rest of the city is already dark. Children and caregivers continue to work and play together. High school students are cramming for exams and trying to ignore the cold. Everyone prays that the power pole will continue to stand.

Wuhan, Hubei – is having a very hard time finding affordable food, “even cabbage.” They ask for food subsidies for the Family Village, 20 space heaters and 50 warm quilts. Heaters are working but there is no water for bathing. The local community has offered to take children in for the Chinese New Year and the institution feels this may be the best decision to keep them safe, so their requests are only for the Family Village.

Wuzhou, Guangdong – is enduring bitter cold. They need warm mats for the floors, disposable diapers, warm clothes and shoes for the children.

Xiangtan, Hunan - has had snow for the past 10 days. The main water pipe is “broken again.” There is no water for cooking right now but they do have electricity, coal and blankets. They are still able to buy food but prices have gone way up. Not all of the HTS nannies can get to work every day. They are keeping the programs going as well as they can and make sure that at least five nurturing nannies are there with the babies every day, along with the institution’s caregivers.

Xinyang, Henan – is accustomed to the cold and all is well. Yibin, Sichuan – no report yet.

Yiyang, Hunan – still has electricity but the water has been shutting off and on. They have stockpiled food for the children. The greatest challenge is for the nannies to get to work. Because the buses are down, they must walk on icy roads.

Yueyang, Hunan - also has no electricity. The one functioning power generator is being used in the children’s dormitory. They are relying on coal heat but the price has tripled in recent days. They are running out of food and have applied to the local Bureau of Civil Affairs for funds to buy more. Our HTS nannies have been walking for hours to get to work, often slipping on the ice, “even though they try to be cautious.”

To contribute to Half the Sky’s Little Mouse Emergency Fund to meet these emergency needs and others, click here Thank you again, everyone. You are just incredible! More updates soon.

Posted in Half the Sky Journal
Posted by Jenny

Freezing in China

2008-02-02T10:17:00.000-08:00

I am posting a note from Half the Sky. There is more information available at their website. You can google more information about the incredible situation going on in China. I am so happy now that our travel group left lots of blankets and socks for the babies in our orphanage, it seemed silly at the time because it is so tropical there. I really hope the coal shortages have nothing to do with cleaning up the air for the Olympics. Of course I wish they didn't use coal, but until other systems are in place there has to be a way to keep people warm.

Further news from HTS regarding our little ones in China

February 1st, 2008

Welfare institutions in south and central China are having the hardest time dealing with the weather disaster. This part of the country is simply not equipped to deal with extreme cold or heavy snow and ice. The most common critical problems are power outages, lack of safe drinking and cooking water, lack of fuel, diapers and public transportation. In many places where buses have stopped running, our Half the Sky nannies have been walking hours (in one case, 4 hours) along icy roads to get to the children. As conditions worsen, our nannies and teachers are remaining at the institutions day and night. They have given up the idea of going home to their own families for the holidays. They need quilts. They need warm clothing. They need coal, water, disposable diapers and food. Here are the reports I have thus far, while in-flight. I will send more soon. Where you don’t see a report, either all is well or I don’t yet have information. I will tell you when we’ve heard from everyone. We’ve also given all the directors an emergency number to call when/if the situation changes.

Hunan Province – Chenzhou has had no electricity or water for six days. They are relying on coal for heat and cooking. The supermarkets and banks are closed. Staff is using personal money for baby food, diapers, coal and water. Costs are rising due to shortages. They have a natural well which, thankfully, is not frozen. Even the older children are helping to fetch water. They have perhaps six days of food remaining. The local government is overwhelmed by the disaster and is unable to help much.

Shaoyang has seen heavy snow every day for 20 days. There is sufficient water and, for the moment, there is power, so the children are warm. However, 5 of 6 power poles have been downed by weather. Only one stands and the institution fears it will fall as well, leaving them without electricity. Much of the rest of the city is already dark. Children and caregivers continue to work and play together. High school students are cramming for exams and trying to ignore the cold. Everyone prays that the power pole will continue to stand. Yueyang also has no electricity. The one functioning power generator is being used in the children’s dormitory. They are relying on coal heat but the price has tripled in recent days. They are running out of food and have applied to the local Bureau of Civil Affairs for funds to buy more. Our HTS nannies have been walking for hours to get to work, often slipping on the ice, “even though they try to be cautious.”

Xiangtan has had snow for the past 10 days. The main water pipe is “broken again.” There is no water for cooking right now but they do have electricity, coal and blankets. They are still able to buy food but prices have gone way up. Not all of the HTS nannies can get to work every day. They are keeping the programs going as well as they can and make sure that at least five nurturing nannies are there with the babies every day, along with the institution’s caregivers. Jiangsu Province – Changzhou has seen some heavy snows but the director reports that the children are fine. The director says that he’s doing his best to ensure that the children do not suffer. Public transportation is crippled by the snow and HTS nannies and teachers are waiting for hours to catch a bus for home or even walking home in the snowy dark.

Nanjing reports no problems at all despite the heavy snows. I tried to fly into Nanjing yesterday but it was not possible. Anhui Province -

Chuzhou has both water and power. Only public transportation has failed. HTS nannies and teachers are walking to work. They are leaving home extra early to be there for the children. Guangxi Province –

Guilin has two broken HTS heater/air conditioners in the Infant Nurture rooms and they’ve asked us to replace. The rooms are very, very cold. They ask for more soft matting for the floors and also snow boots for our HTS nannies who’ve been slipping and falling in the ice and snow as they come to work. They are so ill-equipped to handle severe weather. Jiangxi Province –

Fuzhou lost power for a few days but now it is back to normal. The snow stopped a couple of days ago but now is falling again. The directors and HTS staff have gathered all the children into one big room to keep them warm. They’ve bought New Years clothes for the children and will have a party no matter how bad the weather. This year, however, the foster parents will stay home to keep the children safe. The institution has enough food and water. They want us to focus on those in more serious trouble and ask us please not to worry. Jiujiang says they’ve never faced such bitter weather. They desperately need disposable diapers. Washable diapers cannot be dried. They need warm clothes, shoes, gloves hats quilts and warm mats for the floors. They need medicine for infant coughs and colds.

Hubei Province – Wuhan suffers heavy snows but they still have power. Heaters are working but there is no water for bathing. The local community has offered to take children in for the Chinese New Year and the institution feels this may be the best decision to keep them safe.

Huangshi reports that the freeze is so severe that all heater/air conditioners have stopped functioning. They need quilts and warm clothes for the children. They need disposable diapers. Several HTS nannies have fallen on the ice on their way to work and they need medicine to treat cuts and bruises. Gathering these reports together makes me think about how careful we have always been at Half the Sky to maintain our focus on nurture and education programs. Ours is not a medical or relief organization. There are many wonderful groups who do that work. Probably the primary reason we’ve been able to accomplish so much and reach so many children is because we’ve maintained our focus on our core mission — providing nurturing care for children who’ve lost their families..

But a moment like this really cannot be ignored. The tragedy of Hurricane Katrina in the US taught us that no matter how wealthy a country might be, its vulnerable citizens (old, poor, ill, and orphaned children) are the ones who suffer most when disaster strikes. Even as China seems to be entering the first world, a disaster like this is quite simply crippling. We know that orphaned children will be among those who suffer the damage most. I say this because I think we should break one of Half the Sky’s rules and, if there are sufficient funds raised in the Little Mouse Emergency Fund, we should offer relief (water, food, diapers, quilts, clothing) to any orphanage where children need help. Let’s see how this goes. If people are as generous as I think they might be, we will work with the provincial Bureaus of Civil Affairs in every hard-hit community, and offer assistance to all welfare institutions where there is need.

Please lend a hand, however you can. You can donate to the Little Mouse Emergency Fund by calling us in the US at +1-510-525-3377 or in Asia at +852- 2520-5266 or by clicking on “Donate Now” or download a form to mail or fax. Donations are tax-deductible in US, Canada and Hong Kong. Please forward this message and tell your friends and family. I will be back with an update very, very soon.

Posted in Half the Sky Journal
Posted by Jenny

Rainy Day Fun

2008-01-27T23:17:00.000-08:00

Abbey baked her first cake for her cousin Avonlea's birthday.

She loved it and ate a few spoon licks of frosting.

We took all the balls from the ball popper and musical ball tower and made a fun game using a scooper and the muffin tins.

Out stomping in the rain.

We've had a great weekend together. Abbey's funny new phrase is "I changed my mind", and she uses it every chance she gets.

She gets very excited about cooking together. Using the mixer is extra special. A couple of weeks ago we made muffins. Pancakes and mashed potatos are coming up next on our list.

We went to the craft store and got some things to make and decorate for Valentine's Day.

She loves to run and get things for me and do little jobs saying "Here Mama, here!"

We went to the mall yesterday and enjoyed how they've remodeled things and made a great new children's play area with family bathrooms and a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf right by it. Best of all it is completely fenced in with one exit/entrance.

Abbey had her 2nd dental visit this week and LOVED IT! She went right when I brought her home from China for a "peek-a-boo visit" but this was her first real cleaning. They did such a fabulous job. The whole office is like a children's wonderland with toys and play areas. Abbey gets very prim and proper in these kind of situations and my jaw hangs open as I wonder what has come over her. She was such an excellent patient that they went and got her a Cinderella electric toothbrush in additon to the other princess toothbrush and floss picks they usually give out. She got to pick 3 things from the treasure chest, use a gumball machine to get a bouncy ball, and got 2 big stickers. She got a #1 score for brushing. With 5 number ones you get a Barnes and Noble card and with 10 you get a pass to Disneyland. She was re-enacting the whole thing tonight with me as the patient, showing me her "balloon" gloves, putting little sunglasses on me because of the "sunshine" light, putting "sparkles" on my teeth, etc. She is so much fun.

Speech Session

2008-01-20T21:07:00.001-08:00

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

Early Intervention

2008-01-20T20:54:00.001-08:00

Abbey with one of her wonderful speech therapists.
This is the cabinet she wanted to go get into in the video clip above.

Before I ever got a referral I met with the pediatrician and told him that I knew I wanted my child screened for Early Intervention as soon as we got home. I had heard so many good things about the program through SingleAdoptChina, which has really been the greatest source of information. Early Intervention is a state funded program to provide services for children under 3 yrs of age who have any kind of developmental delays. I am so glad that my doctor agreed and we had things in motion before I even went to get her. It takes time to have your child evaluated and arrange any services they qualify for. If we would have waited she probably wouldn't have qualified because she began changing so much right away. If you are referred a younger baby it may not be as critical, but because Abbey was 18 months when I got her I felt very strongly about her getting a lot of attention to make up for all the lack of stimulation in the orphanage. It also probably depends on what kind of care your child is receiving in China. There is a huge continuum both in the orphanages and in foster care. Abbey's situation warranted getting her all the help and opportunities I could provide. Did you know I can get very pushy? In a nice way that's just what I did. I pushed and pushed and called and called and asked and asked until I felt she had everything she needed in place. It took a lot of time and energy but it was so well worth it. Initially she qualified for general early intervention which meant that a specialist came to her daycare once a week and did play therapy with her. Matching games, colors, peg boards, sensory toys, etc. Her therapist felt that she didn't really need it, but I had been to her orphanage and had seen what she missed. We also had a occupational therapist we met with at home to work on sensory issues. I wanted to make sure she got exposed to all kinds of textures and activities in a strategic way. We went to the park with her therapist and worked with sand, water, mud and bubbles. At home we did whipped cream, pudding, and all sorts of gooey textures - both playing with them and eating them. It took quite awhile for Abbey to tolerate grass, sand, and mushy foods, but eventually we got there. Abbey qualified for speech, of course, because we switched languages on her at 18 months. Children who are adopted internationally at 12 months or younger are usually at the same place in speech as their peers by 18 months. Those adopted at 18 months do not usually catch up until 40 months. Typically at 18 months a child hits the 50 word mark and at that point begins making phrases and has a language explosion, but if you don't even begin hearing the language until 18 months it puts you way behind right when others are leaping forward. There is some good research on language development in internationally adopted children here. Harvard is currently conducting a big study with Chinese adoptees as well. Although I had Abbey evaluated for EI a couple of weeks after coming home, it took about a month and a half to get her speech evaluated. Then they didn't have any therapists available. I decided to go to someone outside the program for the first four months while we were waiting for an opening. The therapist had Abbey sit at a table and do flashcards to say the names of objects, most of which she had never seen before. So developmentally it wasn't really appropriate and she had a personality clash with the therapist (did I mention that Abbey has a mind of her own?), but I felt it was better than nothing and didn't want to "wait and see" how her speech development went. To me language is too critical not to be very proactive about. Eventually the EI center had an opening and we were able to switch to their therapists who really specialize in working with very young children. They play with toys and follow Abbey's interests. They also specialize in oral motor development. This was very important because Abbey had never eaten any food at 18 months (bottle only), so she really hadn't been using the muscles in her mouth and tongue in the way that most children have. In addition to speech 2 x's a week she was also able to join a little preschool type class once a week. The teachers are all therapists and they do an amazing job in a fantastic facility. I cannot tell you how wonderful everyone we have worked with through EI has been. It has really been incredible! Abbey has had so many wonderful experiences and received so much from all these programs. It has also been so helpful and educational for me. I've learned so much through these programs, and I've been in early childhood education for 20 years. Our EI center offered a six week parenting class in the summer where Abbey and I could attend together. They had wonderful staff playing with the children (it's like an indoor gym/playground/preschool) in a big open room where they could still come over at any time and sit with the parents as we learned about discipline, potty training, teaching your child values, etc. We were provided with wonderful dinners from great local restaurants and every child was given a special educational type toy each week (puppets, books, etc). I also attended an 8 week class on the Hanen Program, It Takes Two to Talk. This is an amazing program from Canada that trains parents how to be their child's speech therapist and develop their language all the time. You meet for a lecture and video and then the instructors come to your home and video tape you implementing the strategies with your child so that you can see what you are doing on film. During that program Abbey really begin putting her words together and talking. It was so amazing.
If we hadn't done any of this I know that Abbey would still have learned to talk and would have eventually made the developmental progress that she has, but it would have been much slower and there would have been gaps of things that would have never been covered. I feel so sad for parents who realize at 4 or 5 yrs. that their children have issues that could have been addressed at a much younger age. I just wanted to share all this for those of you waiting in case it may be helpful. Yes, she is doing amazingly well, now you can see everything we've been doing to ensure that. Tomorrow is a holiday and we'll be off to the park to meet her speech therapist for a playdate. We are trying to get every last drop that we can before Abbey turns 3 in April and will no longer be in the programs. I am so thankful for the wonderful people that have made such a difference in her life.

P.S.

2008-01-12T15:07:00.001-08:00

I also wanted to say that I felt bad posting that I was sad, when I know so many of you would give anything just to have your child, work or not. I felt it was best to share though, as you may face these same things too at some point, and it is where I am at. I also feel bad complaining when I know I have so much time off that many working mothers do not have. I honestly do not know how others do it, but I know none of us would trade the lives we have with our children, regardless of what we have to do to make it all work. I think most of you know that I am usually a "glass is half-full" type of gal and constantly give thanks for all that I do have, but this time my heart got such a squeeze that I had to voice it. One of the things that really helped me to go back to work was the way Abbey's face lit up like a birthday cake when we saw her caregiver. I simply couldn't take it if she was sad to go. And I do think she benefits from the interaction with other kids and all the fun things they do.
As for the direction of my dreams, I especially want to thank Teri, who I don't know how to contact. She posted this...

Christy:

The Bible says, "You do not have, because you do not ask". It cannot be wrong of us to ask for this in prayer. So, we will. We do.

Now we shall see what the Lord will do. Is *anything* too hard for Him?

Let us know what happens...

Teri
(from Iowa)

That comment was like a prophetic word that gave me the umph to really go to God and begin to seek Him. After all the miracles with the cancer and the incredible way He put Abbey and I together, I do know that He can do ANYTHING. I just want to really follow the path He has for us and would appreciate any and all prayers to that end.

Over the Hurdle

2008-01-12T14:51:00.000-08:00

A big thank you for all your kind comments and emails. Within 24 hours I was able to stop all the crying and move forward. Hormones converging with a return to work were not a good mix. Prompted by your encouragement and some things I have been pondering over the last 6 months, I am actually considering some wild possibilities for the future. I still need more time to think and pray, but I believe the winds of change are in the air and I am excited for what the future holds for us.
In the meantime I wanted to show you Abbey with the Judge. She was very serious about all the re-adoption paperwork and acted unusually prim and proper. I am so thankful to have that last chunk of red tape done and now look forward to my last paperwork goal, a US passport for her. Evidently it is taking up to six months to get a birth certificate here. We were very blessed to have our good friends Ashlee, Quinlee, and Margaux join us for our meeting with the judge. They braved a torrential rainstorm and flew naptime to the wind to be there. We celebrated with strawberry milk and giant gingerbreadmen, yum!
Over the holidays we attended a party where Abbey made fast friends with a three year old who taught her a few new tricks. They were running around and hiding under the dinner table when I finally said that we needed to get ready to go. Abbey's little friend held up her hand and said "five more minutes," and I've been hearing that ever since! Abbey is also saying "I love you too, Mama," all the time even though it's not in response to anything I've said, so sweet. This week we attended a party at one of those wild indoor gym places and Abbey was much younger than the other guests. The kids all said she was too young to go on the flying hotdog, a big soft swing thing suspended up in the air. Oh no, she was going to go. So the staff said they could do it slow. Oh no, she was going to go fast like all the big kids. She was laughing and smiles all the way, so now I am thinking maybe she is ready for some little rides at Disneyland.
Last night I went to a Jane Brown seminar on Adoption and the Schools. If she comes to speak in your city, by all means go. It was excellent and I felt that I absorbed a whole new layer of understanding about the adoption and racial issues Abbey will face in the coming years. It was really a push to get there, and hard to leave Abbey for the evening, but so well worth the investment in the future. The wealth of information Jane has as a social worker and as a transracially adoptive parent was so good, not to mention all the experience she has had conducting playshops across the country. I was initially very leary of the playshops and thought that I wouldn't ever be bringing Abbey to one, and came away thinking I will be so happy if she gets to attend in the future. She brought up some issues that I had never thought about, even though I've done so much reading and research. I hope I get to hear her speak again.
Today we've had a lovely playdate with Sini who came to her family from China last January and once again I was amazed to see what love and nutrition can do for a child. We then had a great lunch at our favorite place, Sharkey's (healthy Mexican food : ) We got some cute pants for Abbey at the resale shop and are enjoying some lovely So. California weather. It feels like bliss being together again after the work week.

Sadness

2008-01-07T06:40:00.001-08:00

When I went back to work last January after getting Abbey it was hard. When I went back to work after being with her this summer it was harder. Going back today is the hardest of all. I'd give anything to have a year at home with her.

Cheer Time!

2008-01-01T17:45:00.000-08:00

We know you've all seen this photo before, but it's show time for the Sooners at the Fiesta Bowl tonight and we need your collaborative support for a big win. Abbey adores her GranGene (aka GG) and he loves OU ball, so that means she is getting her game on today. On our visit last week Abbey went hurtling through the hotel and tackled GG in the hallway. I was trying to explain to her that he is my dad and she kept insisting, "NO, he is MY dad!".

Happy New Year!!

2007-12-31T21:26:00.001-08:00

Less Than Wonderful...
We've been wanting to share more but unfortunately Abbey has had the stomach flu since Christmas. If there is one thing worse than the stomach flu, it's having it in the car on a road trip. It began with projectile vomiting in the car. We went to a hotel rather than our destination in order to decontaminate and not expose the rest of our family. Thankfully the hotel had a washing machine so that I could take apart the car seat and wash our clothes. The trip home was filled with screaming "tummy hurts" and this has been continuing ever since. In the midst of it all we are still enjoying being together and playing with all the fun Christmas presents. We managed to make it to the courthouse today to turn in all our readoption paperwork. We are so thankful for this year and look forward to the one to come!

More Than Wonderful!

2007-12-25T22:29:00.000-08:00

This has to have been our best day ever. Certainly the sweetest Christmas I've ever known. More to come...

Christmas Cheer

2007-12-24T14:40:00.000-08:00

So it's Christmas Eve day and Someone is napping. I still have some cooking and wrapping to do so this will be brief. Did you see Abbey's advent chain? At the beginning of the month it seemed like it was a million miles long. Somewhere in the midst of report cards, evaluations, and holiday events it started shrinking rapidly. When we got into the teen numbers I had a few panicky days but I called on my mom for help and managed to make it through. We are now enjoying every delicious bit of our time together. It feels so nice not to be rushing through our day and our typical rigid schedule. Abbey is so into every aspect of Christmas and has no idea about what all is coming her way tomorrow. She is just so happy and fun. We have a Mickey Mouse Christmas CD and she insists that I turn it up LOUD and fast forward through all the hymns and carols and only play Jingle Bells, Frosty, Santa Claus is Coming, and Deck the Halls ( or lalalala, as she calls it). She has not asked to open any presents and has been very happy to give them to others. I wanted to sign my Christmas cards from The Happiest Place on Earth. I always want to be sensetive to the needs of others but it's really impossible to keep all this joy inside. My heart is more full than I ever dreamed it could be and Miss Zhuozhuo feels the same. We just love singing and laughing and playing together. I say it all the time but I will say it again...Thank you God for my precious daughter.
And a very Merry Christmas to all of you who have so enriched our lives in this past year. We love our cyber-family and are very blessed by your presence in our lives.

Go Big Red!!

2007-12-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

Not About What We Can't Do...

2007-12-18T21:11:00.001-08:00

But About What We Can

Alive, Well, and Too Busy to Blog!

2007-12-16T22:50:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lapse. We are happy and are doing great, but I don't have time to write. More to come when school lets out. Wishing the very best in this season to all of you!

Dat?

2007-12-03T00:26:00.001-08:00

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Ho Ho Ho!

2007-12-02T23:44:00.000-08:00

We had our annual Gingerbread Party today and it was a blast! Tons of kids, frosting, laughing, candy, and cookies. Abbey was so happy with the whole event. After we came home and ate lunch I let her have a little of her house. Silliness overcame her and she decided to deposit a ton of sprinkles into her diaper. She is really into sprinkles. She spotted them at the party and went and got them off another table and then shook as much as she could all over her plate. We followed up the party by a trip to see a special train display at a store and ended up meeting the best Santa I've seen. She was very shy with him but when she realized he had candy canes she overcame her fear and approached him. It was very sweet. Abbey is calling any Santa we see Ho Ho.
Today we had a great time at church with lots of Christmas songs and crafts. Later we went to our FCC Single Mom's Holiday Party and got to see one of our travel mates and her daughter from Abbey's orphanage whom we had not seen since we went to China last year, so that was very special. They've both grown so much and yet I still see the same babies in their faces from when we first met. Afterwards we went to Candy Cane Lane and got so excited about all the lights that we had to get out of our car and walk around. It was beautiful!

Sparkle Sprite

2007-11-29T23:21:00.000-08:00

She has a style of her own and it always includes accessories!

I finally got the pumpkin candy holder away from her this week but only because she has now latched on to these angel wings.

We had so much fun tonight. We went on an errand to the mall and she was thrilled to see the giant outdoor Christmas tree and ride the little train around. She was given a little pair of paper reindeer antlers which I know she will wear until they fall apart. Over our pizza dinner Abbey reached over and patted me on the arm and said "I love you" 3x! She has said those words many times, at bedtime or in response to me saying them to her, but this was her first "out of the blue" utterance and my heart soared like it did the first time she said Mama. After dinner it "snowed" all around the giant tree and she was completely in awe. I couldn't help crying, it's so wonderful seeing her delight in each little treat of the season. She loves every light and ornament and has been practicing her snow angels on the carpet and singing about baby Jesus lying in the hay. She more than I could have ever dreamed of.

Turkey and Cranberries and Stuffing, Oh My!

2007-11-22T21:52:00.001-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

We have SO much to be grateful for on this special day.

Tiger Lily

2007-11-19T23:55:00.000-08:00

Squirrel Nutkin and Her Fall Crafts

2007-11-18T16:52:00.000-08:00

Sweet Muffin

2007-11-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much for all your kind words. Our on-line family means so much to us and is a constant source of support!

Forever Family Day

2007-11-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

Abbey and I went out to celebrate our one year anniversary yesterday at the wonderful Chen's Restaurant. We had Chen's fried rice and fried soft noodles that include beef, chicken, shrimp, and veggies. Abbey did great with her chopsticks! She was so happy to sit in a booster seat, she does not want highchairs when we are out and about any more but she'll do it for me at home because I insist.
This has been the best year of my life and the joy and excitement continue day by day. Our new nightly routine is singing Skidamirink-a-dink-a-dink, I Love You LOUD over and over. I am fully aware of the difficult times many have had with adjustments and bonding, my heart really goes out to those families, so I hesitate sometimes posting our experience out of respect for them. But can I just say...it hasn't been that way for us, it's been wonderful. I kept thinking it was a honeymoon phase, but I really know in my heart that it's our reality. I sometimes feel that it will bother people that I'm not more "real" or don't have tons of struggles to share, but the truth is we are So Happy. Maybe it's waiting all those years, but the hard things about being a single mom that I prepared for don't seem hard in the light of Abbey Zhuozhuo.

Treats & Thank You

2007-11-01T23:52:00.001-07:00

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So Much Fun!

2007-11-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

Abbey and I had so much fun at the Harvest Carnival we attended. Abbey was in awe. As far as she is concerned, the bigger the party the better, and this was huge. Fabulous food and fun. Check out the band Abbey rocked too - Moi. She loved the music! The Trunk or Treating was really fun, I love all the creativity in the themes. I think my favorite was Curious George and Abbey's was a crazy soccer dad. It was so cute because Abbey thought she could do all these really hard games. She doesn't realize that there are limits to what she can accomplish, and I love that. She had fun with the baby games (toss the bean bag in the pumpkin, go fish, etc). We were able to hook up with old some friends and meet some new ones. I met a gal that lives in China and is working with the babies and orphanges so we are going to connect further. I saw so many Chinese girls with caucasian families, I couldn't believe it. I had no idea there were so many adoptive families here in our town.
She's gone to bed the past two nights with the pumpkin full of prizes and candy next to her bed (and then I sneak it out). It's her treasure.

Eating My Words...

2007-10-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

Last week an experienced mom was telling me, "Just wait until she learns to climb out of her carseat." I scoffed in my mind at such a notion, surely she couldn't and wouldn't. She used to be very placid back there in her little seat but in the last couple of weeks she gets tired of it after about 15 minutes and starts going through the same list of protests that she uses at bedtime..."hold you Mama", pleas for water, lights, food, hair clips, lotion, socks, another blankie, animal, etc., and finally she pulls out the big guns - "poo-poo Mama" - to which I now say, "just go in your diaper". Well she was doing all this the other night in her carseat and when we got home I turned around to see that she had gotten the chest clip down by the buckle and pulled her arms through so that her whole upper torso was free and just her legs were buckled in. I told her in no uncertain terms what would happen if she ever did that again and her eyes looked serious but her mouth was curling up a little on one side and it seemed as though she was trying to hold back a laugh. I could not believe it. What will she be trying next?
On my way to the baby proofing store for a buckle cover, which I hope will last more than the five minutes that other baby proof items have lasted.

One Year Ago Today...

2007-10-30T21:56:00.000-07:00

On October 31, 2006 all my hopes and dreams were packed into my heart as I boarded the plane to China. My baby was waiting for me and the door was opening into the greatest joys of my life. I will never forget the awe-filled days of the trip that took me across the world and gave me my greatest treasure, Abbey Zhuozhuo.

Thank you God!

Party Girl

2007-10-29T22:13:00.001-07:00

This child loves parties! It started on Friday with a huge bash that her "school" (early intervention) had. They went all out. At Sunday School all the kids wore their costumes, then it was off to lunch at Auntie's, and on to the FCC party for preschoolers. Between her excitement and that of my 20 first graders building to a creshendo, I am expecting a wild Wendesday and hoping for a very low key Thursday. Abbey had two licks of lollipops at the FCC party but said nothing when they disappeared. I let her try a mini-chocolate cupcake and her face broke out in red welts. The highlight for her was getting to wear a helmet and ride a scooter. We got to see our friend Tuesday in a Kitty Cat costume. We also met a gorgeous five year old cheerleader whose dad told me she was from Abbey's orphanage. I went over and told her that Abbey was from Yangdong and she said "Well I'm from China and so is she," pointing to a friend. I don't think it had registered that every girl there was from China. They were all so sweet and very cute. Abbey cried when we tried on the adorable Pumpkin Pie Fairy costume last week, but she loved the comfie new cheerleader outfit from G.G. (GranGene) so we went with that and she was happy. I'm sure we will have some princess/fairy dress-ups in the coming years.

CAKE!!!

2007-10-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

Quinlee and Margaux, the birthday girls!

Glorious ice cream cake!
The hat that helps me accomplish my goal - CAKE!!!

CAKE!!!

2007-10-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

For many birthday parties (including her own) I was able to dodge and deflect cake from landing in Abbey's mouth. Several months ago at her friend Oliva's party she got one bite. When she turned around the plate disappeared and for the first time she asked for it and looked around. When Tuesday's party came in July I let her have some cake because it was all made with fruit and whipped cream and sweetened only with fruit juice (yay Kimberly!). Last week at Quinlee and Margaux's party I finally let loose and let her join in on a piece of ice cream cake and I have not heard the end of it since. Abbey thinks that the pointy hat is what signifies that you are eligible for cake so she now wears it everywhere and points it out to all passersby and shouts "CAKE", hoping they will hand some over. An added benefit to wearing the hat is that people in stores and restaurants think it's her birthday and give all kinds of special treatment and attention when she wears it. BTW, today is her half birthday - two and a half! I can feel my resolve weakening as we roll into the holiday season. I may break down and let her eat a piece of trick or treat candy and the next thing you know it will probably be a gingerbread house. On the home front though we still stick to our regime - no yogurt, applesauce, cereal, etc. with added sugar. Oh, and did I mention she goes totally wild with sugar? Oh yeah, bouncing around and shouting for a couple of hours...another reason to resist.

A Taste of Things to Come

2007-10-09T22:47:00.001-07:00

Fiddle-i-fee

2007-10-08T23:56:00.000-07:00

Abbey loves for me to point out the goose, cow, etc. on these jammies and sing "Cat Goes Fiddle-i-fee" with all the little animal noises. She asked for a bottle for baby this week so we went out to the garage and got one of her old ones. Before long she wanted to put water in it...for baby. Next thing I knew she was laughing and drinking from the bottle again. She thinks its really fun for me to pick her up and cradle her and sing "Rock a Bye Baby". So fiercely independent, and yet still Mama's baby. Favorite word right now is "outside" and newest favorite pastime is swishing and spitting water after brushing her teeth. The other day while changing her diaper I realized we had totally forgoten about the potty over the past couple of months and I said something about it so she jumped up and ran into the bathroom got on the chair and went potty. She's ready, I'm not. Diapers are my last little symbol of babyhood and I am hanging on to them for now. Giving up the crib and the bottles were hard enough on me, and I am thrilled that she is revisiting her baby things just for fun.

Entertaining Herself

2007-10-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't taken any pictures in the last two weeks so I thought I'd put up this one from September. She was thinking it was really funny that she had put a little cup on duck's head. We lost this duck back in August and it was awful. I was more traumatized than she was, crying and about to go overboard with the management at Target. Fortunately many hours after shopping there we returned to Target, held hands and prayed, and then walked through the store calling, "Duck, where are you?" He was up on shelf in the school supply aisle where Abbey had put him. During the interim between losing and finding him I had scoured the web only to find that he is from England and costs $50. He was a shower gift (he comes with a big book and baby duck puppets) and I had placed him high on her bookshelf, but one day Abbey pointed up and called for him and they have never parted since. We've both fallen in love with him.

Shopper's Alert

2007-10-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

Costco has this beautiful kitchen set at a fraction of the PBK price.
Ho, ho, ho!
In other news, Abbey is singing all the time, saying "outside" and "new", signing school and God, and thoroughly enjoying all her activities. She kept yelling "light out" at me yesterday and rolling over in bed when I tried to get our morning started. I think she will enjoy the upcoming time change. She's looking forward to going to a birthday party this weekend and the pumpkin patch on Monday. I don't know how to explain it but everthing is so much fun with her. I keep thinking of the Mary Poppin's song, "Everday's a holiday with Abbey..."

Somthing Worth Voting For

2007-09-30T14:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, you can make a difference and it only takes a couple of seconds...

Hello again-
Our volunteers in Wuhan had a great idea. It may be possible for some of
our Half the Sky children to carry the Olympic torch next year. I've
entered a contest sponsored by the China Daily Newspaper and, if I can get
enough votes from netizens all over the world, I may be able to have that
honor. If it happens, I will run with 8 children from 8 orphanages in
China. Believe me, I am no runner. But I would dearly love to give the
children a place at the party.
Please take a moment and vote for me right now:

http://pub1.chinadaily.com.cn/olympics/torch/members.shtml?mid=212

We need a LOT of votes. Please pass this on to your friends and family.
Thanks and love,
Jenny
Jenny Bowen
Executive Director
Half the Sky Foundation
www.halfthesky.org
Half the Sky was created in order to enrich the lives and enhance the prospects for orphaned children in China. We establish and operate infant nurture and preschool programs, provide personalized learning for older children and establish loving permanent family care and guidance for children with disabilities. It is our goal to ensure that every orphaned child has a caring adult in her life and a chance at a bright future.

Park Puppy and Her Art

2007-09-23T22:31:00.000-07:00

Abbey loves to wear her puppy headband, pirate eye patch, or sunglasses whenever she can. She discovered the little pumpkin candy holder I picked up for trick or treating and she is now going around everywhere pretending to collect candy. This is some of her summer art which is coming down to make room for her new fall things. She just made the little tree with the fingerprint apples. She is so proud of all her artwork and LOVES cutting, like the fringe grass under the tree. She is really into using tools, especially since she helped me take apart the crib. She undid more of the screws with the allen wrench than I did. Today she and Madison both wore new light up shoes to church, but I didn't have my camera. It cracks me up that they are always so in sync. Her word of the week is "tight". I never could have imagined that she could find so many ways to use that word. She was thrilled to have grown out of her shoes this week and pronounce them all too tight...I bought three new pairs yesterday. All of the sudden her 18 mo clothing is all too short too. She can still wear 12 mo if they are capri's but length wise she now needs 24 mo, which of course swallow her at the waist. Thank goodness I found out we now have a Gymboree outlet nearby and our beloved Target.

Sophia

2007-09-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

This is little Sophia. She is undergoing a bone marrow transplant today. Her parents discovered that she had a rare blood disorder shortly after bringing her home from China. They need our help in getting through this ordeal. We all want to help children from China, here's our chance. Visit Sophia's website and make a donation today. Let's shower them with love, prayers, and finances.
When I had Abbey's initial blood work done she had an extremely high platelet count. My doctor consulted with the hematologists at our children's hospital and thankfully over many months and blood draws it came down within the normal range. Another friend of mine found that her baby has an extremely rare blood disorder as soon as she brought her home from China and they are still working through treating it. This could be any one of us. If we all give a little it will make a huge difference.

Ashton Rocks!

2007-09-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

Abbey loves her "Ashti". I was prepared for a fit when I took her out of worship Sunday and went down to the toddler class, but a pleasant surprise awaited us. She was as happy as a clam to say goodbye to me as soon as she saw that my nephew was there. Evidently she managed to get a ring from him for a few moments.

Pretend Birthday

2007-09-18T22:09:00.001-07:00

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Small, but Mighty in Soul and Spirit

2007-09-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

New words: wait, hard, ice, elbow, highchair, Mailee. She is loving nursery rhymes, especially Baa-baa Black Sheep and Mary Had a Little Lamb. She is also into little vs. big.

I am finally getting some sleep again. It was a very weary two weeks after she was found hanging on the outside of the crib at two a.m. screaming because her leg was twisted through the slats. Down came the crib and she was free at last. She was very happy to get a toddler bed (I just didn't feel good about using the twin yet), but liked to get up every hour and run into my room. Up went the gate, but then I would climb over to go and comfort her and one night ended up sleeping on the floor in her room. I decided to get tough because I couldn't make it through work with no sleep and she is finally sleeping through the night again, although I did let her back in my bed at 4:30 this morning. I do really well with holding the line up until about 4 o'clock, but if she gets up after that I am not in my right mind and just want to do whatever it takes to close my eyes. Now that the sleep issue is underhand we are going to work on prompt obedience. She is so adorable it makes it hard to enforce things sometimes but I keep telling myself it's the foundation of her character that we are laying here.

Message from God

2007-09-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you who listened to the podcast here is one of the many tidbits I left out. Two days before my tumor review board at UCLA, and three days before my second biopsy that changed everything, my dad recieved this fortune in a cookie when he picked up some take out. Have you ever seen a fortune cookie that said something like that? He didn't tell me about it until after the diagnosis changed to benign but then he laminated it for me and I keep it up on my bulletin board as a reminder of all that God did.
I have heard of several people getting the fortune, "You will recieve good news from a distant land", before their referrals. This happened to a friend of mine on her birthday and the next day she received her special needs referral that didn't come with the regular batch. She was really wanting to adopt but her husband wasn't sure. One day as they were discussing it he said that he needed a message from God and then he left to go to the post office. When he came back in a little bit he slapped some stamps down on the kitchen table in front of his wife. He had gotten them out of a machine and was surprised to see that every stamp said "Adopt a Child", so they did.

Pockets

2007-09-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

Her favorite phrases are "I will do it" and "did it!" She has recently been putting up her hand like a stop sign and shouting "Back!" if I am giving unwanted assistance.
This is her idea of dressing herself in her pj's before bed. The pocket is really her sleeve since the shirt is on upside down and her little bootie is hanging out the back since she managed to get this on before I could get the diaper in place.

Love My Girl!

2007-08-29T22:25:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all the kind and heartfelt comments about our story. I am stunned at the number of downloads on the podcast. I hope we can bring light to those who may be in a dark place.

Soul Laid Bare

2007-08-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

Miracles happen. I am living in the midst of one. I've always wanted to tell you all the whole story and now I can. Looking back it is hard to fathom that Abbey and I made it across the planet and through the most devasting circumstances to the incredible joy that overflows our lives everyday. All that I couldn't share as I lived through it you will find here. Scroll down to Miracles In Our Midst for the podcast. It's probably about 40 minutes long, and there was still so much that I didn't have time to explain...someday.

August 25, 2005 - my darkest night. August 25, 2006 - my brightest dawn.

*When it sounds like the message is over there is really a little bit more, so wait a minute and you'll hear a few more important pieces at the end.

Growing Up Way Too Fast

2007-08-21T22:02:00.000-07:00

I love her confidence. We talked about her driving a fire truck that we saw this morning and she responded very enthusiastically that she'd like to do that. The funny thing is that she probably could, and most likely it would be better than I could do it.

Yellow, but not mellow

2007-08-19T14:36:00.000-07:00

Uncle A-ton is playing the drums! I think he is SO cool. He babysat me last night : )

Ma-mum and I both showed up at church with our yellow skirts on. I didn't even call her and tell her to wear it. We are just on the same wave length.

Having a Ball

2007-08-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

Oh Goodness

2007-08-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

She climbed out of her crib tonight. I was trying to employ some tough love and walk out of the room because she was crying and protesting bedtime. She did it VERY quickly too. I was so wanting her to stay in that crib until she turned 3. Does anyone know how I can stop her from growing up?

Words of the Week

2007-08-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

Well, once again Ms Abbey is ready for more than I thought she was. Bible lessons here we go! I do my Bible study when Abbey is asleep. I am sure the reasons for that are self evident. I quit taking my Bible to church because of my tendonitis and the diaper bag, etc. I just use one of the extra's they keep there. The other day when Abbey woke up from her nap I still had my Bible out on the sofa. She came over and touched it and I said, "Mama's Bible." She ran and found this little Bible with the handle and brought it to me and said, "Bible." Now I don't remember ever telling her about Bibles before and I haven't ever read this book to her, but we have flipped through the pages once or twice. She has more board books than I have ever known of one child to have and I just have no idea how she knew this one was a Bible. At church she just plays in the nursery. I asked her daycare if they had talked about Bibles and they hadn't. Where does she get these things? I guess once again she is ready for more than I realize, so Bibles it will be.
Thanks to the birthday parties of some sweet friends she is starting to sing Happy Birthday and really get into the whole party idea.
Today she announced, "I poo-poo", and it was true, she did. I had just told the doctor I didn't want to start potty training because she didn't have enough language.
Her favorite new word is "why?" which she uses over and over throughout the day anytime I say no to something or redirect her. It is said very impassionately and usually three times in a row with dramatic inflections. She doesn't care for the reasons I give her so she just asks why again and again.
My favorite thing to hear from her is "My I know my" for the "Now I know my" part of the ABC song (that is the only part she can really sing). It is so cute. She is really into A for Abbey and always says that any marks she makes on paper are A's with lots of concentration.

Cooking Cherrios

2007-08-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

Since she's overcome the baby proofing she can get out all her cooking gear at any time. She love to play with real things so much more than toys and wants to do whatever it is that I'm doing.

Tiny Tot

2007-08-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

I get so many comments about how big Abbey is getting, but then when people meet her in person they are shocked at how tiny she is. Also when people haven't seen her for awhile they are surprised when they see her again and remember she's little. I've decided the blog needs the disclaimer, "appears larger than acutal size". I don't have current stats but we have a Dr's visit tomorrow so I can find out exactly where we are at with height and weight. My scale at home has needed a new battery since about the time I went to China, so it's no help. Her clothes range anywhere from 12 mo to 2T. She has grown a lot, but she's still my baby.

Tea with Duck and Bunny

2007-07-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

Abbey is loving the song, "I'm a Little Teapot".

Text Me!

2007-07-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

Abbey got some new mirrored platforms and a great toy cell phone when Lao Lao came to see her this week. She's so into all of it. She's two, going on sixteen.

She Did It Again!

2007-07-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight Abbey got straight out of the tub, climbed up on the potty, and did it again. I guess she is more ready than I am. She loved all the praise and attention. Yesterday we went to Toys R Us for the second time in her little life (you may remember the first time with the corn popper many months ago). After saying "I want" over 100 times she zeroed in on this little microwave. She has never eaten fried chicken, a hamburger, hot dog, or potato chips, and at first I was not too excited about it. But she was so ecstatic because it lights up, rotates the food, and dings. I felt that this should be her chance to choose. It was only $10 so that helped sway me as well. She pointed to the star on the Toys R Us bag and started singing Twinkle, Twinkle.
She is just so funny. She has created a new game where she stands across the room and has me hold out my arms and beg to hold her and then she says "No!" several times and then relents and runs and jumps in my arms. She also saw "Where is Thumbkin?" on Sesame Street and begs to play it over and over. She took her counting up a notch and started using her fingers too. She is just a delight in every way.

First Merry-Go-Round

2007-07-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

This is a vintage toy that our speech therapist has used a lot with Abbey. It made me realize how much parks have changed and how much I miss merry-go-rounds and teeter toters. Today I found a park that has both. It actually has two merry-go-rounds and a four horse teeter toter. Abbey loved it all.
We had quite the celebration tonight. After my last post about the potty chair we both sort of moved on to other things and forgot about it. Tonight Abbey wanted to get on it after her bath and it was so cute. She climbed up and got her feet on the rim and squatted just like they do in China. I told her that if she wanted to she could try that on the big toilet too and I also showed her how to straddle facing the toilet. She loved that idea and climbed up on the big one and then went tinkle. It took several seconds for it to sink in that she was really actually doing it and then we partied. Abbey did a victory dance much like those that go on in the end zone after a touch down. She marched around naked on her tip-toes with both pointer fingers up in the air and I sang, "Abbey went pee-pee in the potty". We went and got the chart that came with her chair and wrote her name and hung it up on the wall and put a sticker on it. She was so proud! I still don't plan on potty training her now but she is welcome to do this whenever she wants. We are going to let her go get a small toy tomorrow too, which I have only ever let her do once. I know, we can't do that every time, but we were both so excited over this first one.
She also counted to three again tonight as she had Dora jump off the side of the tub into the water like we do at swim class. It wasn't quite as surprising as the first time because it was just counting without the pointing and one-to-one correspondence, but it let me know that it wasn't a fluke.
We're on a roll here : )

Wow

2007-07-15T14:07:00.000-07:00

My jaw is hanging open...

Abbey just layed out some chips on the floor in front of her duck and counted 1,2,3!
She is having a little language explosion. Her new favorite phrase is "right back!" whenever one of us leaves the other for a moment. I can't tell you how much fun it is to see and hear her learn to talk.

Thumbelina

2007-07-14T13:55:00.000-07:00

Our community has so many fabulous things for children, not the least of which is our library. We have a brand new 10 million dollar children's wing with 22,000 square feet of BOOKS! It's got a beautiful aquarium and next door is a humongous park with great play structures, duck pond, etc. Today we went to the library to see the puppet show Thumbelina. It was excellent and Abbey loved it!

Apple Tree

2007-07-14T06:57:00.000-07:00

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Over the last two weeks Abbey has started singing bits and pieces of songs and it's really fun. I pulled out the camera yesterday and she wasn't ready to sing in front of it yet but I hope to share some with all of you soon. Here's what she's trying so far:
Twinkle, Twinkle
Ring Around the Rosy
The Great Big Spider (like eensy weensy but you pound your fists and sing loud)
No More Monkey's Jumping on the Bed
Johnny Appleseed Prayer

Team Cutie Pie

2007-07-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

Abbey and Miss M just finished round one of their swim lessons and received their first little certificate today. They've mastered head bobs, ice cream scoops, kicking, blowing bubbles, kickboards and jumping in off the side. (When I say mastered I mean with them holding on to mommies for dear life and us "helping" them.) Favorite parts included singing Motor Boat, Five Little Monkeys, and Ring Around the Rosie. They had an excellent teacher and several cheering family members. The swim lessons are everyday M-Th and then they are also taking KinderGym on Wednesdays. Last week they also hit the toddler library story time and had a picnic in the park. We are SO thankful to have such a dear friend.

Turn the Page

2007-07-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

A close friend and her husband had just completed their first adoption. They adopted a beautiful girl domestically that was part Korean. At her baby shower I had the privilege of holding her daughter. As I held her sleeping baby a love welled up in my heart that I never knew you could feel, it was overwhelming. It was like being a conduit of a love that neither began with me or ended with her, it was above and beyond.
In pondering serious life decisions I’ve found it very helpful to consult with those whom you respect and get their perspective on the options before you. As I contemplated adopting a child I approached the decision which the deepest sense of gravity I have ever known. My sister and brother-in-law are the pastors of my church. In talking it over the possibility of adopting with them, my sister said something that stuck with me. She said that she could not imagine me looking back over my life at it's end having never been a mom. She was right, that was unthinkable. I checked out tons of books from the library about adoption and had them all piled around my bed. I wrestled with the Lord for almost two years. I didn’t realize it before, but I had quite a narrow mindset about what it meant to be a Christian and be a mom. Although I had not been conscious of it before, I now had to face a whole world of perfectionism I had erected in my mind. I thought that the ideal was to stay at home to raise children, have a white picket fence, make all your food from scratch (preferably grown in your organic garden), and home school your children or have the money to put them in a private Christian school. And there definitely needed to be a dad! The idea of a single, working mom with a child in daycare was truly outside of anything I could think of God wanting anyone to do. As I read more about the situation of orphans around the world I slowly began to realize that there was a lot of things I had not taken into consideration. With every argument and concern I came up with I felt that God kept reminding me of the same thing: that having a single, working mother who knew Him was better than being in an orphanage. I was terrified about the finances, time and energy it would take to be able to parent a child alone. And yet I really began to come to an understanding that however substandard a situation I could provide, it would actually be a huge improvement for a child who had no one. At least I could love them with all my heart and be sure they got three warm meals a day. I began looking back and realizing that this all fit into things that the Lord had been doing in my heart for a long time.

I experienced the paradigm shift which you may remember me sharing before. I never realized all of these preconceived notions ruled my mind, but they did. One day I my thinking was transformed. I had always clung to a verse in Psalms 68:6 that says, "God sets the solitary in families." Feeling very solitary, I kept waiting and hoping that God was going to set me in a family with a husband and children. As I was praying about adoption I felt like God spoke to me one day and said, "You are the family, and I will set the solitary in you." It really turned my perspective around and I realized I could be the family someone needs.

Here we go...

2007-07-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

For many years I had a hole in my heart and a dream that never seemed to be within reach. There was one thing that I always wanted more than anything, and that was to be a mother. As the years stretched on as a single person a lot of patience and endurance was worked into my heart. As I approached my 40th birthday the sadness about not having a child began to feel unbearable. For a year or two I had a constant feeling of an hourglass with the time running out and a sun setting. Those two pictures were looming in my heart and mind at all times. Even if I were to meet someone and get married, by the time that all happened it would be too late. While out to lunch with a friend one day I shared this overwhelming sadness. She asked me if I had ever considered adoption. I was stunned. That sounded preposterous to me. How could I as a single woman ever manage to do such a thing? But a seed was planted there and it began to grow.
At that time I also felt a heightened conviction about two issues that had plagued me for years…fear and unbelief. I had no problem believing that God loved other people and would do wonderful things for them, but I really couldn’t get it from my head into my heart that He felt that way about me. I knew that faith pleases God and that doubt and unbelief offend Him, and yet I couldn’t seem to rid myself of these. I didn’t understand why God would bless others and never seemed to answer my deepest prayers. Many times I asked leaders if they could see anything wrong in my life that would keep me from experiencing God’s blessing, and they told me in tears that they really didn’t understand why God had me in the place that He did. The pathway that was opening up before me would free me from these bondages and answer the questions in my heart.

Dedication

2007-07-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday we had Abbey's dedication. In both services they had me share my story instead of having a message from our pastor. There is so much that I haven't shared with all of you but I hope to begin to do so soon. Let me just say that there were incredible miracles that happened through my journey to Abbey and they were things that I couldn't share about at the time. Anyway, after I spoke we had this little slide show. My friend Teresa also sang The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts which perfectly fits my story. Lots of friends were there rejoicing with me and it was another wonderful day in my life with Abbey. Here's a picture of her afterwards....

Who Abbey Looks Up To

2007-07-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

Thank you K1 for my new dress! It's perfect.

Abbey adores my nephew. He's a drummer and she's very excited about drums and music. My niece is Abbey's other shinning star. She loves to play with her any chance she gets. This is the three of them at church Sunday.

Splish Splash!

2007-06-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

Saturday was Abbey's first time in a pool. We are starting a mommy and me swim class on Monday and I decided we should do a trial run today. I was so happy the little suit she received for her birthday fit perfectly. It was a wonderful first experience! She made friends with a baby who was loving the water and when he left another one came. They were great role models for Abbey. She sat on the steps for awhile and drank in the scene. Some young guys at the pool began throwing a squishy ball to her and then everyone was cheering for her because she has a good throwing arm. She eventually got all the way in with me and motored around the pool for a long time hanging onto a floating chair ring. Everyone was so nice to her and she throughly enjoyed every bit of it. Normally I would never dream of putting on a suit and getting in a pool, but that is just another way that Abbey has so enriched my life, and I had the best time. I feel SO blessed every minute of every day that I am with her.

Don't go wee-wee on the carpet

2007-06-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

I am having so much fun with Abbey. She is just delightful and we are both loving spending time together! She seems to have had a developmental spurt this weekend. I had just told a few people last week that I had no intentions of introducing potty training until she was 2 and 1/2 or 3. I just don't see any reason to start sooner unless she was showing an interest. Well, I still feel that way and that is still my plan, but she has suddenly taken an interest so I am trying to go with the flow (or tinkle). We have been laughing every night the last week or so when she gets in the tub because one night she did a tiny wee-wee on the carpet and now we crack up every night when I take off her diaper for her bath. She goes over and points to the spot where it happened and just laughs and then I say, "Don't wee-wee on the carpet". I think it was the first time it really registered with her what was going on. Anyway, today she went and got a book off her bookshelf that someone had given her that was all about the potty. She seemed really into it so I went and got out the potty that was given to her at one of my showers. She was so happy to have her own potty. She sat on it for about an hour, which is really saying something for my busy little bee. Then tonight at bath time she wanted to get on it again for about 40 min. Nothing happened but she sure was excited about it all. I still don't want to really start trying, but I am happy to go along with her interests. She was so proud of having her own potty!

Climbing Like Crazy!

2007-06-29T22:31:00.000-07:00

Wow! That's all I can really say about Abbey's climbing...fake rock walls, scary stair step things, tall ladders - she's into it, and very proud of herself when she tackles a new challenge. We went to a different park today and she was all over it. When I told her she was climbing like a little monkey she started making monkey noises and jumping around like one.

Abbey and Bun-bun

2007-06-26T16:20:00.001-07:00

Hi Ho

2007-06-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

Dinner on Father's Day with GranGene.

Word of the Week: backpack. Loves to say it over and over.

We are starting all kinds of fun summer classes/activities and are thrilled that Mommy is out of school for the summer!

First Father's Day

2007-06-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

I learned a lot over the last couple of years on SingleAdoptChina about how other single adoptive mom's were handling Father's Day and questions that arose for their daughters. Abbey is young enought not to be very cognizant of the differences in families, but the other children in her daycare are preschoolers and they do notice. A week or so ago I talked to Abbey's caregiver and told her that Abbey could make a card or craft for her grandfather. I also brought in a great book, Families are Different, by Nina Pellegrini, that explains that although families may be different, they are held together with a special kind of glue called love. I wanted her teacher to be ready in case questions came up about "Where's Abbey's daddy?" We talked about the fact that although she doesn't have a dad, the Bible says that God is a father to the fatherless, Psalms 68:5. I want to take a preemptive approach to situations like this for Abbey, especially after hearing about awkward things others have been through that could have been handled much better. I don't think we always perceive sensitive subjects to depth that we will when we are the minority that it affects. Anyway, when I came to pick up Abbey on Friday she had made two cards and gifts, one for GranGene and one for me. Reading the card brought tears to my eyes,

Dear Mama,
Thank you for being brave enough to be my mom and dad.
I Love You!
Thank you for loving me and choosing to be my mama.
Love,
Abbey

So in honor of all of you who are doing the job of mom and dad...Happy Father's Day to you!

No, no, no

2007-06-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

Now mommy is saying it too.

We have reached an unwanted milestone. Yesterday she figured out how to undo all the baby-proofing. She went around checking all the cabinets to make sure she could do it. Then she started pulling things out of the cabinets. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. It's not that there's anything unsafe, it's just the convenience of being able to keep everything where I want it (okay, it's a control issue).

And she has been intently studying the book Goodnight Gorilla. The Gorilla snags the zoo keeper's keys and follows him around to all the cages unlocking them after the zoo keeper bids each animal goodnight. I am having flashbacks of the Shawshank Redemption. She just pours over the pictures of the locks and keys and seems to relish the "no-no"ness of it all.

Clever. That's what her referral report said. Yes, mommy will be very busy now for many years.

I Want Zebra

2007-06-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the movie star park You know all those pictures of celeb's and their kids in People magazine? This is the park in Malibu where they take them. We don't care, we just want to play. Speaking of stars, Angelina will be on Larry King Live Thursday night.

I am thrilled that Abbey is now starting 2 word phrases and she is using a pronoun. She came up with "I want" last week and is using it all the time. We are working on not saying it in a whine and adding the third word saying what it is that she wants.

Yo Yogurt

2007-06-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

Goodbye tactile defensiveness, hello yogurt! She's conquered sand - went from sitting on the edge of the box to full covered in sand play. Overcame grass - from not wanting to step on it to now rolling around in it. And now her final conquest, soft mushy foods which at one point were unacceptable. Oh, and she initiated playing with the birdseed tub at daycare this week. That's my girl!

Toddler's Creed

2007-06-03T22:54:00.000-07:00

If it is on, I must turn it off.

If it is off, I must turn it on.

If it is folded, I must unfold it.

If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.

If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

If it is high, it must be reached.

If it is shelved, it must be removed.

If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.

If it has leaves, they must be picked.

If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.

If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.

If it is closed, it must be opened.

If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.

If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.

If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.

If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.

If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.

If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.

If it is paper, it must be torn.

If it has buttons, they must be pressed.

If the volume is low, it must go high.

If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.

If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.

If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.

If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.

If it is a phone, I must talk to it.

If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.

If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

If it is not food, it must be tasted.

If it is food, it must not be tasted.

If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.

If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.

If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.

P.S. I did not write this, and I don't know who did. Thank goodness Abbey doesn't eat bugs or arch her back over the car seat. She loves to go wherever we are going. She also loves her stroller but does have to get out and push it 1/2 of the way sometimes. Everything else she does...and so much more. It's very fun and I am very busy!

High Heels and Mini Skirts

2007-05-28T21:41:00.000-07:00

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This is a shot from daycare. Abbey's having a blast as usual.

Hi!

2007-05-23T22:21:00.000-07:00

Lots to share...but no time to blog it! At least we can smile and say "hi"!

Hope to catch up soon : )

Mother's Day Gift

2007-05-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

This is what Abbey made for me at daycare. It's so cute because she was so excited for me to open it and she had to keep re-enacting for me how she put her foot and handprints on. I got to wear it to work today. Our wonderful caregiver never ceases to amaze me. She returned from a trip to Hawaii today with adorable t-shirts for the kids. I have to say the children that Abbey is with there are so wonderful. There are just three others and they are all great little friends for Abbey.